Jokes

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair
>>> > well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling
>>> > slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked after
>>> > image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is

>>> > an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The gentleman walks over,

>>> > sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her
>>> > and says,
>>> >
>>> > "So tell me, do I come here often?"
>>> >
>>> > <><><><><><><>
>>> >
>>> > An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of
>>> > years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him
>>> > fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to
>>> > hear 100%. On his return visit a month later, the doctor said,
>>> >
>>> > "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that
>>> > you can hear again."
>>> >
>>> > The gentleman replied,
>>> > "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to

>>> > the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
>>> >
>>> > <><><><><><><>
>>> >
>>> > Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a
>>> > bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says,
>>> >
>>> > "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
>>> > I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
>>> >
>>> > Slim says,
>>> >
>>> > "I feel just like a newborn baby."
>>> >
>>> > "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
>>> >
>>> > "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
>>> >
>>> > <><><><><><><>
>>> >