Blogging Innocence posted 6/8/2008 10:22:19 AM | 26 kudos what's this?     report abuse

LaughTillYaPuke

I wrote my first blog about the middle of November. The first time I had ever posted writing in public and I found it much harder than writing and shoving a notebook under a bed.

It was called "Small Town Living" and I wrote about a funeral that I had attended, and the beauty of living in a small town. About how my grief over losing a loved one paled in comparison to the loss to our community of this beautiful woman. It was a hug. From one man. It started a writing bender of 20 pages. And of course had to be chopped down to 5,000 characters to fit in a blog space. My first experience with having to capture emotion in 7 paragraphs. And then I trotted back off to the forums.

Now you need to understand that I thought that blogs were like video's. You posted something up that that you liked, but people really didn't see that stuff unless they went to your profile and went hunting for it. A few days later I went and posted another blog called "Internet Dating". And on the heels of that "Slaying the Dragon". Both of which I ruminated about internet dating and the people who chose to sell something other than what they have stocked on their shelves. A few days after that last blog, I would check my email (something I'm not very good with keeping up with) and there would be pages of blog comments. What in the world was this?

I opened a few and they all seemed to be short notes from members telling me that they read my blog and perhaps a few thoughts. But it didn't look like a regular email. It had an "approve comment" button you could click. I figured this was a way to respond to the nice note that people had sent you. And I thought that was horrible. That if people had taken the time to send you a note, the least you could do was respond. So that is what I did, until it seemed a bit overwhelming. And then, I cheated and just clicked the "approve comment" button.

It wasn't until my 5th blog (Daddy's Girl) that I realized that something more was going on. It was a blog that I wrote as so many people asked me what had happened regarding the pictures of my mangled face in my first blog. And....it was a story I was finally ready to tell. It was supposed to be a blog about what a woman looks for in a man, and it took on a life of it's own. And as time went on, I saw that is the way all of my stories play out. With a thought, a phrase or an image that just won't let go until I write. I had decided to post a picture from that time, and was wondering how to put a picture on a blog. And so...I click on my blog. I was astounded. All of the comments that people had sent me were on my blog. And some "kudo's" things too.

I went and clicked on my first blog...and sure as shit...there were the private comments that had been sent to my email box. Did these people have any idea that their personal words were splayed out for all to see? My heart was pounding and I felt a bit more than nauseous as I re-read all of the things that people had written, and my own words that I had posted for those who wanted to know more about me.

It was not until I had found the blog button and really looked that I realized that everyones blogs were here for all to see. And there were some pretty awesome writers and poets in here as well. It was an amazing discovery. And I spent the next 5-6 hours going through pages of the written word. I was addicted and had found a new home.

It was at this point in my life that I made a poor online decision for myself, and I left the site for a few weeks. Others may not have knows what I had done, but I could not stand to look at that computer screen and be reminded of it myself. I would eventually choose blog land to right my wrong.

But this was the equivalent of bending down picking flowers, and when you look up, there is this great expanse like the Grand Canyon. It is beyond stunning and right on into awe inspireing. And since that glorious revelation, I have never taken Blog Land for granted. I have seen much drivel and whinning planted in this hallowed ground, and I am always amazed at how flippant people can be with a gift such as this. Is it because it is free that they take it for granted?

The gift of the Kudo. The power of the written word. Phrases to hurt and to heal. And it shows me the people who cannot see wonder in their daily lives. Those who would take things, actions and people for granted once they feel that they are due those emotions.

As the Mod Man says...."Blog's are to be used as extension of a person's profile". And if you really look....really read, you can learn so much more about people than what they will willingly tell you. And while I miss the innocence of posting without knowing that others would actually read my mind vomit, I try to take a bit of time every day to wander through that garden and view what others have planted. Sure, there are plenty of thorns and poison being sown by the unhappy. But there are some incredible exotic things as well. And I thoroughly enjoy walking around and tasting all that has been offered.

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Blogs by LaughTillYaPuke: Burning a Hole in my Pocket Polka Dot Confection Something Delectable I dance with the Goose Man, Coo Coo Kachoo Words, Blood and the Nemesis Lunch Lady Land Knowledge is Power We forget to live Madness and Mayhem As Good as Gone And I Run The Re-Gifter Blogging Innocence Choose our own Destiny....The End We're All in this Alone...Part 5 But Will You Thrive?...Part 4 Castle on the Hill...Part 3 Fear and Foot Prints...Part 2 The Hunt Begins....Part 1 Better than Ice Cream Breathe Body in the Road Always the Hard Thing to Do Blood, Sweat and Tears Coming to an End