Ok… it’s Fathers day and I’ve always had mixed emotions about that.. One of the best things I could say about my ex-husband and ex-b/f is they were Good Dads! My father? Not so much… I think that’s why I kind of judge a Man on two things… How they treat their Mother and how they are with their kids…
1.) If a man has no respect for his Mom, why the heck would he have any respect for you? She is the first and most important woman in his life… Yes, I understand there are circumstances that may have a bearing on this factor, however it’s still the first place to look…
2.) If a man has a problem with his kids…Huge red flag! No, not talking the teenager rebellion thing… I’m talking more about that he hasn’t’ talked to his kids in years or they have no respect for each other… Your kids are the only people in the world you are suppose to love unconditionally.. Again, there are circumstances that can again factor in… However as I said before, it’s still the first place to look…
My own experience was way different.. I was Daddies little girl, well till my brothers were born.. Then I became the built in baby sitter… I could sense the change. It was all about the boys! I was the oldest and even though I needed things too… They were younger and I had to understand, but that’s the catch you see.. They were always going to be younger!
It seems the older I got the more of a disappointment I became to my Father. I would tell myself it’s because I was a girl, and maybe he couldn’t relate to me for gender reasons? Well, he would make rude and sometimes down right nasty comments to me.. I wasn’t a thin kid… ok, I was quite chubby, and that makes you not pretty. He would do things to this day I’ll never understand… He would put more food on my plate then I could eat and then sometimes put more when I was almost done… Then tell me I had to eat everything on my plate.. I would sometimes feel so sick after I ate. Then sit and talk about how fat I was getting. He’s say too bad your not pretty like those other girls. He’d force me to play foot ball with the boys and then tell me you need to act more like a lady. My parents were divorced, so on Sunday after visitation he would bring us home.. Once when I was 11 years old I went to give him a hug and kiss good bye and he told me I was too old for that… I said so, what? Do you want a hand shake or something? He said, just get in the house…(it was an apartment)
I reached the point where I became a smart ass and would say stuff back.. Like, well what to you think is going to happen if you make me eat more. He then would say don’t get smart with me… I’d say, nope never with you Dad, ahead of you, before you, but never with you or after you. Yes, it was the hurt and anger that built up and was coming out. He’d hurt me, and I’d say something to hurt him back, or at least piss him off.. Even though I’d know what would happen.. I’d get hit.
One summer when was a teen, we went to PA to visit his side of the family. We went to my Uncle’s house, he had a small farm.. It was cute! All the kids were out playing and we ran in at the same time for bathroom and drinks of water… some went up stairs and some to the kitchen, as they were running back out I walked in to get a drink of water also. I guess no one heard me walk in and I was almost to the kitchen when I heard, so how is (my name) doing really? They didn’t know I was there and my Father said, not so good! She ain’t gonna be nothing but a bum, the only thing she can hope for is some guy to marry her and support her for the rest of her life, but because she is so fat and ugly that ain’t never gonna happen… I was in shock!!! He wasn’t’ just being mean, he didn’t know I was there.. It was how he really felt.. I went and sat on the couch.. I couldn’t move after that.. My Aunt later walked to the front door and saw me, She asked how long I was there.. I said long enough! A couple days later, my Father said something, and I back talked him again, he went running after me… I hit a hill then that was it, he grabbed my foot and pulled.. I hit the ground with my face and my nose started to bleed. My aunt was an EMT and she freaked out because she couldn’t’ get it to stop bleeding. My Uncle told him if he ever did that again he’d call Child Services himself! No, things never got much better… I could go on for days taking about all the cruel things he did or said, but Long story short.. I don’t talk to him anymore….
So to all the Good Dad’s out there… God Bless You All!!!!  My ex-husband was a Good Dad… No matter what happened between us, I will Never take that away form him. I will always admire him for that… My Grandfather was my male roll model. I loved him so much ,and I miss him! He was the one I wanted to walk me down the isle at my wedding… he died a month before… I walked down on my own, in my heart and mind, I was with my Grampy! Still Am!
Happy Fathers Day! 
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by Angel1964:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| I've always had mixed Emotions about Father's Day... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|