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Prison Intrigue, Chapter 3

posted 6/22/2008 9:52:08 AM |
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  jentoblues101

Prison Intrigue Starts here

My digital watch, bought in the commissary when I first went down, said 3:32. Plenty of time to put my stuff away before count. My head was filled of thoughts of Sabrina, Mr. Lewis, and Dan and I barely noticed the other women as I strode through the compound toward Nebraska Unit.

FPC Pekin sits in the middle of an Illinois corn field, and its departments are laid out in a roughly circular pattern with recreation, commissary, foodservice, medical, a small hair salon and admin all in one long building. Recreation is on one end, admin on the other and those two departments jut out, enclosing the center of the compound. Behind this, down the hill, is facilities, where the HVAC, construction, supplies and purchasing, painting and grounds departments are based. Facing the recreation and admin network are the Kansas and Nebraska housing units, shaped like big exes. Each unit has four “alleys,” each alley 16 cells, or “cubes,” and each cube houses two women. The center of the compound is criss-crossed with sidewalks and burgeoning gardens created by the new Horticulture program.

A group of four women were sitting on the uncomfortable benches outside the unit, getting in their before-count cigarette. I saw Diane and Farren with their heads together, whispering intently. They stopped talking as I neared them, and I nodded a greeting as I met their eyes. Farren issued one of her sly smiles and made as if to get up and talk to me, but I pretended not to notice, heading for the unit entrance.

Opening the big, green painted metal door, I was greeted by a wall of noise as women bustled about, getting ready for Friday night, their voices revibrating off the tiled floors and cinder block walls. The microwave line stretched down the hall, as inmates waited to cook their chilliquitas, ramen noodle specials, and chicken, broccoli and cauliflower smuggled out of the kitchen. Darla was at the microwave with four different dishes, and I could see the impatience on the faces of the women behind her and hear soft, disgruntled mumbling. Others were in line for the unit's three sets of washers and dryers, and I heard cursing followed by a loud crash of metal from the laundry room.

Darla spied me and, putting one of the dishes in the microwave, bellowed, “Hey Jen, what's the movie tonight?” Some of the women in line perked up, waiting for my answer.

“Mr. Gordon's getting us GI Jane.”

There were a couple of yips of pleasure and some high-fives.

“What about The Rock?” Darla's voice was as big as Darla herself: when she spoke, everyone listened.

“That got nixed. Mr. Gordon said no prison-break movies.”

A collective moan of protest filled the foyer, and the chatter of voices crested, then fell.

“Mr. Gordon says GI Jane's a good one,” I added, defensively.

Wee was behind Darla in the microwave line and her high-pitched voice rode over the noise “And Demi Moore's hot!” There was good-natured laughter and Darla's large white hand met Wee's tiny black one in a high-five.

Wee shook her bowl of uncooked ramen. “Now woman, get your ass in gear and get your cooking done, I got a movie to see tonight.” Darla leaned down, whispering something in Wee's ear, and as I headed down the alley I heard their roars of raucous laughter behind me.

My cube was at the end of the alley, and I could see the cart with my stuff piled on it. Ms. Judy was standing by the entrance of the cube across from mine, with her arms folded over her chest. Seeing me coming, she minced importantly down the hall to meet me.

“I didn't let anyone touch your stuff, Jen.” She stopped in front of me, leaning in close. “You know I've got your back, what with Sabrina gone and all that.” She bared her three misshapen teeth in an ingratiating smile, and I stepped away as I caught a whiff of her breath.

“Thanks, Ms. Judy,” I mumbled. She nodded her head decisively, then turned, walking back up the alley with me.

“Have you heard anything about Sabrina?”

Of course I hadn't, she was in the Peoria County Jail, FPC Pekin's version of solitary.

“No, Judy, I haven't. Have you?”

Judy had admin's ear and knew more about what was going on than most of us.

“Jen, you know I would tell you if I knew anything.” Her hard face was earnest as she flipped her thinning brown hair off her shoulder. She stopped, edging in front of me to get closer, blowing her rank breath into my face. “Was Gould one of the men who questioned you?”

I stepped around her, continuing down the hall, thinking. Of course she would know I was with SIS. I remembered Agent Gould's warning as I left admin, “Don't tell anyone you were up here with us or we'll make it bad for both you and your friend, Sabrina McCay.”

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by jentoblues101:
Suicide Angel: Conclusion
Suicide Angel
Conversation With a Date
Quote
The Harley Chronicles: Biker Musings
Jen's Rap
Changes
My First And Only Cut and Paste Blog
The Harley Chronicles: Riding Through The Pain
Prison Intrigue: Chapter 6
Prison Intrigue: Chapter 5
Prison Intrigue: Chapter 4
Prison Intrigue, Chapter 3
Prison Intrigue: Chapter 2
Prison Intrigue
Re-Birth
Evolution of the Scam
The Harley Chronicles: Laying the Bike Down
The Harley Chronicles: Dyslexia and the Art of Motorcycle Riding
Obituary for a Friendship
The Harley Chronicles: Biker-Dating Disappointment
The Harley Chronicles: Biker Fliration
The Harley Chronicles: The Bank
The Harley Chronicles: "You da man."
The Harley Chronicles: "This One's Yours"


Comments:
jentoblues101

Jun 22 @ 10:01AM  
When I started this yesterday, I had no intention of writing more than that encounter with Dan, but found myself returning to the story, writing more. I seem to be writing another series.

One of the things I don't think I did well in The Blue Series was paint pictures of the side characters in the story. I'd like to do that more with the women here but I'm struggling with the writer's maxim, "show, don't tell" and while I would like to go into more detail about the characters, but don't want to read too much like a hack.

I really like what I did with the first two entries, feeling I painted the scene through dialog rather than being didactic, but it feels too complex to do this with each person I introduce. I'm going to start going into more detail about the characters here, like their crime and where they're from, and if my writing starts sounding adolescent or hackneyed I'd appreciate feedback and suggestions.

Thank you.
redbronze

Jun 22 @ 10:23AM  
A lot of good authors do use side characters for other stories as each has something to give. Even Robert Jordan (Eye of the World Series) was considering a few books on side stories that answered questions my fav was a prequel which for me bound some things together..

This here is a blog and it is a testing ground for your book I think your on the right tract when you gather it all together and bind it good editing will be essential but having a vast amount to choose from is a whole lot better than slim pickings..

And yes I saw pictures in my head so your on the right road... Hugs sister
missliss78

Jun 22 @ 12:02PM  
Jen, I haven't read anything you've written that I didn't enjoy thus far...but then I am no critic. I have gotten a different vibe from these 3 blogs, but I'm not sure why. I'm glad you've decided to write more on this, as when I read the "conclusion" last night, you left me longing for more! ~*~
fenderchick

Jun 22 @ 2:38PM  
I will be reading it all...

Mission_Impossible139

Jun 22 @ 2:41PM  
You are always a great read.
KnittinKitten

Jun 22 @ 6:32PM  
I'm reading as fast as I can....But, if I read too many at a time, I run out of kudos...

I like your style...I don't pick it apart, I just read it...from the edge of my seat, it seems.

Fondly,
KK
unionman154

Jun 23 @ 7:37AM  
YES YES YES a Series by Jen. ~*~
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Prison Intrigue, Chapter 3