In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
Anonymous
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| To the citizens of the USA from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II |
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