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Though I may speak with bravest fire,
And have the gift to all inspire,
And have not love, my words are vain,
As sounding brass, and hopeless gain.
Though I may give all I possess,
And striving so my love profess,
But not be given by love within,
The profit soon turns strangely thin.
Come, Spirit, come, our hearts control,
Our spirits long to be made whole.
Let inward love guide every deed;
By this we worship, and are freed. -- Hal Hopson (1972)
I think it is time for an update here, I doubt I will be on this site or any other site for long. It is not that I found that perfect relationship, the one partner that would give me the one gift I had hoped for, love. It is because I recently fell very deeply in love with someone that I gave a 2nd chance to. I had very high hopes and kept the fact that we were beginning our journey towards building a lasting relationship quiet so as not to jinx it.
Then, out of the blue, his attitude changed from calling me and leaving sweet and loving messages on my answering machine and singing me songs of how deep his love was to one where he barely spoke with me, and all this was over a period of 4 days... then came the "dear XXX, I am on a different path, one I must walk alone." Not totally the truth, because I have a very old profile on Chemistry.com, and since I have not logged in for a while, they send me new members to try to get me back, and guess whose profile showed up?
I no longer believe that people our age can love completely and without looking past what is already been given to them from the heavens as a gift for something shinier, prettier, better. As one of my dearest and smartest friends here recently told me, love is a gift and when someone loves you and cares about your well being and wants to spend time with you, don't you at least owe it to the honor of the gift, to try to sit and talk out differences instead of pushing them aside and having resentment grow and then seeking better somewhere else?
Love is give and take... that's right. You need to work (and I know alot of people don't like that word as it sounds depressive, something you need to give energy out to, etc.) at communicating all your hopes, dreams, desires, and yes, fears, upsets, misunderstandings. You don't have to change WHO you are to do this, you just need to change HOW you handle stress, anger, etc., if you do, indeed, desire to build a relationship with one person that will last the test of time. I see the elder couples, and have even been blessed a few times by them enjoining me in a conversation about their love.. they have no hidden secret. They have all had ups and downs, but the difference was they realized the greater of those ups and downs and the gift they had in having someone that truly cared from the heart for them. And with that realization came the work to keep it and work through those difficult moments without feeling that there was someone better out there that would be better for them.
I am not totally jaded, but I am releasing myself from the quest. I believe if there is that special relationship, it will be placed in front of me by a higher power.. until then.. I will take care of me.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
Blogs by luvshorses644:
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| The Gift of Love.. thank you Newfie lady for the inspiration |
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EternalFlame
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Jun 30 @ 11:03AM
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This is not just a site for relationships...it's a site for friends as well...and you have a great many of them here. I do hope you will stick around here so I can be blessed with your wonderful BAMFness !!!
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madamegeek
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Jun 30 @ 11:34AM
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Luvs, I have tried to maintain - through serial disappointments of online prospects - a flickering hope that I was simply meeting the "wrong" men, that a man who lied online would also have the character flaw of being inclined to lie no matter where we had met, that a thief of love here would be a thief anywhere. I didn't want to think that the online experience itself was at fault.
I now somehow am more inclined to believe that the "candy shop" mentality prevalent on sites like MatchDoctor is to blame for the very many disappointments I see occurring daily.
Too many people seem to be captivated by the seemingly endless possibilities here: the search need never end because the supply is constantly replenished and some people cannot bear to risk missing something "better" moving along the horizon.
It is a sadness we have all borne; like you, Luvs, I am inclined to now let the quest enfold me. This poem on my profile is a consolation and a tribute to the merit of "waiting" while we live and love our own lives.
Among the Multitude - Walt Whitman
AMONG the men and women, the multitude,
I perceive one picking me out by secret and divine signs,
Acknowledging none else—not parent, wife, husband, brother, child, any nearer than I am;
Some are baffled—But that one is not—that one knows me.
Ah, lover and perfect equal!
I meant that you should discover me so, by my faint indirections;
And I, when I meet you, mean to discover you by the like in you.
Persevere, sister
Madame ( the other Newfie)
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redtigr
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Jun 30 @ 11:52AM
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I'm in complete agreement with you and MadameG...
Too much artifice here - the internet has not been good for building lasting relationships (with a few notable exceptions, certainly)...But in those cases, the relationships thrive because those involved are savvy, discerning, and mature.
The biggest problem is that the net attracts a majority of players and superficial types who can hide behind a few choice words - or - just use the medium to meet, and meet, and meet, ad nauseum.
What a waste of time for those of us who are sincere.
~*~
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Tunes4u
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Jun 30 @ 1:02PM
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I realized early on that this forum for finding "love" was flawed beyond hope.
So I started using it as a platform to write down things that I believed, felt, wanted, and so on. And as a way to meet people. The rest takes care of itself. I need not worry about it.
I told stories, made up stories, bared my soul, and had fun too.
I forgot all about what others think this site is for.
I forgot about "finding love" or what ever it was I was looking for.
I decided to use this site as a tool for self exploration , and for trying to understand different viewpoints and experiences coming from others. Jerks abound here and everywhere. You might as well realize you can't get away from that.
That is, for me, when this site became effective. Not for producing dates as one might think a "dating site" should do, but rather exploration.
I can't tell you how much my vision of this site has changed in the last few years.
I will tell you this.
I do not fight, argue, or worry about those who do. I used to....but no more.
I do not search for "love". I used to. But no more.
I do not read anything seriously lacking in some sort of effort to actually say something of merit.
I have let go of all expectations concerned with this or any other site. I expect nothing. Nothing surprises me.
And ya know what?
I believe if there is that special relationship, it will be placed in front of me by a higher power.. until then.. I will take care of me.
I am having more fun now than ever before. I have a bunch of friends that I care about. It is relaxing and most rewarding.
You and I have exchanged many notes and kudos. I admire you and your writings. I may not always comment, but I always read.
So...don't go...we need you here. Take a break or what ever, but don't go.
K?
oxoxoxox
Tunes
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SallyF
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Jun 30 @ 1:52PM
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The MD 'door' is always open, if it's a break you need. I understand and can relate to what you are saying and feeling; will miss your blogs and photos from your corner of the world. Hugs, C~
ps-that's my favorite hymn you shared---off to the piano I go; the weed pulling can wait a few.
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wandaful123
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Jun 30 @ 2:31PM
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As always my friend, right on the money...
You don't have to change WHO you are to do this, you just need to change HOW you handle stress, anger, etc., if you do, indeed, desire to build a relationship with one person that will last the test of time.
And yet here we go again huh? I never could understand folks who keep asking "why does this keep happening to me?" when we are all so very aware that different outcomes require different actions... some folks are runners, just the way it is...they run from fear, percieved hurt, misunderstanding etc... when most times all it would take is some trust and honest communication.
The gift of Love... funny that on a dating site I find, personaly, mostly it is shared amongst a few woman I have the highest regard possible for. Some are right here commenting, sharing beliefs and honesty... (and yeah, then there's Tunes too!  )
"You've broken the speed of the sound of lonliness, you're out there running just to be on the run..."
...................................................................................................................................................John Prine
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oceanlover734
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Jun 30 @ 7:40PM
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Sis we have talked our hearts out about this. I hope you listen to whats best for you. To me it seems you have a lot of people on here that love you besides me. You truly inspire our hearts and minds to think. I think the comments on this are great. Read with your mind as well as your heart.
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callmemax
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Jul 1 @ 12:26AM
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it's ok to quit actively looking, as long as one doesn't become a hermit. we've all heard of the person who wasn't looking, and just fell into it. or not...
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PrettyGreenEyes578
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Jul 1 @ 5:29AM
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I understand completely. I will miss your heart felt blogs filled with wisdom, but I also respect a person and their wishes ~
"I believe if there is that special relationship, it will be placed in front of me by a higher power.. until then.. I will take care of me."
I believe in your words of wisdom soundly and adopt this in my own life.
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unionman154
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Jul 1 @ 7:52AM
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I would like to agree with the all the above beautiful comments.
I wish you the best and hope you will stop in once in a while to share a ice cold glass of sweet tea with us all. YOU ROCK 
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firecracker4unow
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Jul 1 @ 1:45PM
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I am really sorry this happen to you! But on these sites hate to say (both men and woman) some are just hogs they are only after one thing! Me I am on here to meet new friends. Me myself I am taking a break from any kind of relationship. WHat happen to you happen to me. So pick up ya self and continue on, its hard but i know you can do it.
Keep written to allof us we all love ya notes and ect. take care and all of you have a great holiday! I know it bum up ya holiday 2!!
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