Ya know?
There is a lot more than usual.
There has been more spam in my mailbox lately, than I have in my cupboard.
The spam is as thick as the skeeters up at the lake.
I know how skeeters multiply, but how is it scammers can multiply. We need to have a talk with whom ever is helping these bastids to procreate. Dry up some of the scummy puddles around here.
On the other hand, I have been thinking about it as a sort of sport. Like shootin' clay pigeons. Only it is easier.
And in all honesty, it is really not very challenging. So I thought maybe I would give these idiots a couple helpful hints, so they can be a little more exciting to expose. Something for us to do, as legit users of this site. Like using real pigeons. Kinda give em a little chance to actually scam something from someone. I am starting to feel sorry for some of them. And their starving Mother with the two broken legs.
So to all my friends out there who are NOT scammers and scumbags...get ready for the next generation of ripoff artists. ......get ready for a new edumacated spammer. and I am JUST the guy to give it to 'em. .
Ok Scammer Dummies....listen up! Lets get serious for a minute here.
I am here to help ..... 
First! And one of the most basic requirements of a well designed scam web attack......
Have a picture! If you don't understand this first suggestion, don't bother reading any further. It ain't gonna do no good for ya. I don't care where ya get the durn thing...just copy one from the net somewhere. And remember...if ya wanna scam a guy, put up a girl's picture. If ya want to scam a girl, put up a guy's picture. Now this can get complicated here, if you are a guy looking to scam a guy or visa versie....so we will just leave that part for a later lesson. Besides, we may have to employ a different teacher for THAT lesson. 
Second...Why do you morons insisted on telling us how sexy, petite, shy, tiny, sensual, experienced, and gentle...wait..... and don't tell me how you are athletic and how much you love to sunbath and swim and workout..... when your profile says you weigh in at 285 pounds and are 4'11" tall. Freaking petite my a**......I mean YOUR as*...... 
Come on Moby.....at least try to make this challenging.
Third....Don't use the same text in your letter to me as you do in your profile. Another no brainer giveaway. It really is all too easy.Try to be creative. See if you can actually write something meaningful besides that you are loving, giving etc etc....oh yeah....lets not forget the quintessential "love living life to the fullest" line.....geez....what the hell does THAT mean anyway?
Fourth.....Give the hell up on the hospital plane crash auto accident Moms dying, Dad left, dog got run over in the jungles of New Guinea or Ghana or any other place in Africa. It is old and worn out.
Try Mexico or Honduras.... and use a nice picture of the village chief's daughter or something. Forget about plane tickets to New Lost Vegas or anywhere else. And NEVER use the 14 bazillion dollars currency exchange thing EVER again. Or a lost will, or a found treasure that can't stay where ever it is now.
Ya know Dummies.....if you took a little more time creating at least a somewhat believable profile, maybe you wouldn't spend so much time creating dumba*sed profiles, and actually make a little coin! Get my drift Dummies?
Listen....I have gone as far as I can here. I am sleepy, tired, hot, worn out, exhausted, and totally beat from pushing the block button on yer dumb as*es. But after a short nap, I will be glad to answer any further questions about how to file a real good profile that will make you millions.
After all...I have been doing it for years. 
Good luck Dummies!
Stay Tuned
I do
Tunes
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| A " How to" Letter For Dummies |
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PrettyGreenEyes578
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Jul 1 @ 6:36PM
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How true, how true - it would be nice to get a piece of legitimate mail every once in awhile.
This is great 
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misschoos
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Jul 1 @ 6:39PM
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Does this crap write itself? No, they might have no legs but there relatively harmless.
I'm not doing this from the soul of my heart, I am doing it because my wife she died with a helicopter wrapped around her neck and it wasn't funny because now she went down to Mexico to the dentists and I just needed some help to pay the bills.
I know you might think this evidence isn't convincing enough for you but when I drop the bombshell you might stop doing this blog.
Bombshell - Exhibit A is a leg and exhibit B is the other leg, now what more evidence do you need?
It's not my fault if you substitute flour for cocoa in your soup recipes but there are far worse people off than you. So if I was you I would think about it more before you say that.
I was told by a liitle bird that you like talking about something, going off on a tangent and talking about something completely different, then going back to what I started talking about before and before you know it the last five minutes is the next ten.
Quite ironic.
Well I met this guy earlier on in this year, he is older than me, he's 25, single and he's a diamond dealer in the city, I guess he's just a lot more opne mided than you are.
Never assume anything. 
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LaughTillYaPuke
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Jul 1 @ 6:55PM
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And THAT is why I could never fall in love with a scammer. They are horrible writers. It's just a major turn off. 
~*~
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LilMissGiggles
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Jul 1 @ 7:53PM
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I Have been having my own fun with mine
When they ask me to add them I write back and tell them that I am new to the PC world can you please add me because I am always doing it wrong....then I give them the email addy of the last scammer I recieved mail from.....been giving me many a chuckle thinkin that one day all the scammers in the world talkin and scammin each other instead of us 
Makes for a very happy giggly person I can tell ya 
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fenderchick
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Jul 1 @ 8:02PM
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This was great...I only wish I had a kudo left...I'll be back soon as I get one!
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ceecee1952
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Jul 1 @ 11:11PM
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scam rhymes with spam 
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mystery2u888
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Jul 8 @ 2:14AM
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 ohh Tunes..........how in the world did I miss this one.............  Hooray...........my friend I loved it..  ......this should be alittle book 
Every word of it .......I see a best seller for sure.....
That is why I say my eyes............  are everywhere......... and then some.........with alittle help from friends of course.........
.
I like the visual....thing
 
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newpatches
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Jul 8 @ 6:47AM
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Darwin's theory is, we all evolved from apes...now I don't believe that for one nanosecond but IF that were to be true then what happened with the scammer civilization??? It went haywire and somewhere "over there" they started cloning them on an assembly line at a high rate of speed...no job shortage in those eastern countries...nope...just intelligence....
They go right from the assembly line to the scamming factory where they are seated at a computer and commanded to infiltrate as many sites as possible because somewhere amongst the millions is a sucker or two and their job is to find them no matter what.
Methinks we are out-numbered....  
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Palomino
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Jul 11 @ 2:40AM
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Excellent blog! I'm going to send this to people I know who actually believe some of these scams.
~*
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