Last Friday I came upon an interesting problem; my car mysteriously died overnight. Through some help of friends and a little diagnostic work I narrowed it down to the fuel pump. As my car's fuel pump is located inside the top of the gas tank and has no access panels from above, it would be a challenge for me to complete this repair on my own.
Today I started that repair. I must admit, the instructions didn't seem that difficult. The instructions lied. Here is how they deceived me;
#1 Disconnect the negative battery cable - Simple enough.
#2 Release the pressure on the fuel system at the fuel rail. - Already released, as the fuel pump was dead and the schrader valve showed no pressure.
#3 Siphon the gas from the tank using a hand pump - Screw that, it only had half a tank.
#4 Raise the rear end of the car after chocking the front wheels - Wow, I'm sailing through this.
#5 Using a floor jack support the gas tank before undoing the holding straps - Hmmmmm.... Floor jack you say... Uhmmmm... This piece of wood should do.
#6 Loosen the holding straps - Dang these things are rusty... A little WD-40 (in my eyes) and... Oh wow... Okay, time to buy a floor jack...
#7 Disconnect the quick connects for the fuel line and wiring harness - These don't disconnect all that quickly... How do I reach up there? Oh crap gas shower!!!
#8 Remove the filler gooseneck - That's easy eno... DAMMIT another gas shower!!!
#9 Remove the exhaust bolts and rubber exhaust pipe mounts - No Need... I can move the tank around them.... Yeah... Uhmmmm.. Yeah...
#10 Lower the gas tank on the floor jack - DAMN THAT'S HEAVY!!!!
#11 Pull the tank from under the vehicle - OWWWW MY BACK!!!
#12 Spin the retaining ring to remove the old fuel pump - Time for some brute force and ignorance... Pounding that retaining ring sure is fun, seeing as IT'S RUSTED IN PLACE AND WON'T EFFEN MOVE!!! Oooops, broke that... Oh well...
#13 Put new fuel pump in the tank and secure with retaining ring. Use a new gasket if necessary - Gasket? We don't need no stinking gasket!!! Although we need new fingers after beating the hell out of them trying to get the new retaining ring onto the mount that we disfigured...
#14 Connect quick connects to the Fuel Filter and main fuel line - Wow... These connect even worse than they disconnect... Off to the store again to get a wire brush and some sand paper...
#15 Connect the main wiring harness - YAY, something simple!!!! Wait... where's that blue retaining clip I put over..... Uhmmmmm... Duct tape time...
#16 Re-connect the Gooseneck to the gas tank - That should be.... OH CRAP MY HERNIA!!!!
#17 raise gas tank on floor jack and re-attach straps. - GET BACK IN THERE YOU EFFEN PIECE OF EFFEN CRAP!!!!! WHY DON'T THESE BOLTS GO BACK IN? IS THAT BLOOD COMING OUT OF MY LEG??? WHY DOES CRAP KEEP FALLING IN MY EYES??!!??
#18 Lower vehicle - FINALLY!!! I'm done...
#19 Reconnect ground at the battery - That would have sucked if I forgot that.
#20 Start vehicle - YES!!! Success! It all wo.... wait... what's that splashing sound under the car???
I had to write the instructions past #20 myself, which involved re-raising the car, cursing, disconnecting the battery terminals, cursing, chasing down where the leak was, cursing, cursing for cursing so much, examining where the leak was coming from, realizing that I completely screwed up the re-connection of the quick connects, more cursing, fixing the quick disconnects, praying and cursing at the same time, and starting the car with it jacked up so that I wouldn't have to curse AND raise the car again... (Oh yeah, and remembering after the first attempt to start the car to reconnect the negative battery cable...)
The good news is.... IT WORKS!!! The bad news is..... I'm NEVER EVER EVER trying that again... I found out that the rocks that were covered in gasoline that I embedded in my skull during one of my cursing rampages don't come out very easily, that the little flakes of rust in my eyes don't come out well in the shower, and that my hernia, groin, ankle, knees, wrists, shoulder and back will never recover...
Next time I pay someone to do it...
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Blogs by Intellectual_Masochist:
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bardnsage
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Jul 1 @ 11:03PM
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Well,,,
I guess this is a bad time to say,,,,
1. Replace the fuel filter while you are under there and have all that stuff out anyway.
2. Sending unit for the tank is cheap, compaired to the labor, so might as well put that in too.
3. Inspect and replace those fuel hoses and quick connects you can't reach without dropping the tank.
4. Wire brush the strap holes so the bolts go in easier.
5. Spanner wrench will get that ring off toot sweet, without a hammer.
6. If you have an older model, avoid banging on the tank too much, as this will cause debris to dislodge from the sides and top of the tank, which will stop up your new fuel pump and filter when the fuel level gets close to empty.
I think I was right, this is probably bad timing.
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travelwoman
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Jul 2 @ 12:32AM
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Yep, the sudden and mysterious death syndrome is generally the fuel pump (to my experience), and it preferably happens way out there.... had a 80 miles tow, once.... for a dead fuel pump...  
I'm NEVER EVER EVER trying that again...
Who said "trying"??? You are an expert now, and I meant to call you next time a fuel pump dies on me... 
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