Burning a Hole in my Pocket posted 7/2/2008 5:03:05 PM | 13 kudos what's this?     report abuse

LaughTillYaPuke

Crawl out of bed much too early. These late night telephone calls are taking there toll. I find I can't sleep after good conversation. My my twirls and spins for hours with only one option of release...I must write. But, eventually, my mind gives in to what my body wants and I drift off about 2 a.m.

Coffee first. Always. I'm not sure how much is has to do with waking me up, but I do find it a more pleasurable option than folding the laundry from last night. It's my "me" time and I savor it. But in the end laundry calls and I find that I can't leave for work with a dirty house. I frantically run around the last 15 minutes, wet hair dripping down the back of my shirt. There is nothing like a wet bra to irritate you for the next 5 hours. Run upstairs and dig for an appropriate pair of shorts. I'm working with young boys and my attire needs to be somewhat reserved, even if it's 90 degrees out.

I dig a pair off the top shelf of the closet and wiggle them on. They fit, snapping easily and I breathe a small sigh of relief. It's always a bit of a shock to reach for the button and IT refuses to reach. Whispery sounds when I run down the stairs. That had damn well better not be my thighs rubbing together! Nope...something in the back pocket. Two 5 dollar bills and three singles. Nice and crispy from a wash last year. Creases that can only be accomplished by 8 months folded in a closet. Beautiful. What a great way to start the day. Free cash. If you've forgot about it...it's like a gift from the God's. That's the way I see it anyway.

Run to school sliding in the door as the bell rings just like one of the kids. The student teacher looks up and grins at me. The kids are already busy writing in their fishing journals and he informs me that we are going back to the Sheboygan marsh today. Love it! You've got the stagnant pools, the ripply ponds and of course, you can just always drop your bobber right over the damn and reel them in.

We are short one child and the student teacher and I gleefully rub our hands together in imitation of Mr. Burns. It's our most irritating "know it all" child. He's in the talented and gifted program at school. If you work in education...you know that these kids think they are God's and their brains are actually their penis's. They can be hard children to like and tend to lack any and all social skills. We are now down to 8 juvenile and very normal children. WE are going to have fun today! We decide to mix it up today. Cut the cord ruthlessly. The boys will hang with him today and the girls will hang with me. Period. This will leave the boys to focus on their fishing instead of the front of my shirt and force the girls to remove their own hooks and put the leaches on their own lines.

We drive like Speed Racer to the marsh and the kids run around like pre-schooler's on an easter egg hunt scoping out the best spot. It's my favorite moment of getting to a new site. They are all excitement and no boredom. We last about an hour and the fish are suddenly biting. The kids are having a ball but me and the teach are exchanging looks. The fish don't just "turn on " for nothing. And then it hits...Cold air from no-where and I'm yelling for the kids to get their lines in the water. A front is coming in and this usually makes for some exciting fishing. And it does Scream, yells, and fish are flopping on the grass all around us. The rain comes and the fishing is steady.

It comes so fast and so hard that we are frantically trying to help the kids to change their bobbers to lures, the wind is just too strong. And we are sopping wet. There is something about kids and water of any kind that just makes the whole atmosphere joyful. And then...I look up at the Teach and we are both holding out one arm. The hairs on our arms are standing on end. Weird. Someone else who has that happen when something major is about to occur. And that mild mannered teacher, Mr. LaidBack hauled out the dad voice. "Get in the vans NOW!" Now these kids rarely listen when fishing, but all 8 of them dropped their poles and ran...and climbed into MY van. Son of a Bitchen teacher is all alone in his van listening to Boston while the lightning flew all around us. Me and 8 kids in another van giving each other "snake bites", I earned my wage today folks. And when one of the girls asked me what that horrible smell was, I was honest and told her it was the boys.

It was an eventful day, and filled with a great deal of fun. But it was scoring the free cash and coming home cold, wet, tired and hungry that was actually the best. Heating myself up a bowl of chili and piling on the cheese while stripping naked and heading up the stairs. There are perks to not being married. Crawling in a hot tub with a bowl of chili and a Steven King book is just one of many. I don't care how long you have been with a man, they look at you like your crazy. That, or they try and pry the bowl of chili out of your hands and want to have sex. They just don't understand that that comes after you are clean, warm and dry. THEN you can get messy again.

And so now here I sit. Warm, dry, well fed and content. But I also wonder what it would have been like for a man to undress my shivering body and wrap me in a blanket against him. In the end, if it was a good man, he probably could have accomplished all that I needed in a much more satisfying way. Still though....I DO have $13.00 burning a hole in my pocket!

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Blogs by LaughTillYaPuke: Puke's got Balls, but Cold has Heart. Back Door Love The Long Road We Lived the Same I Dream of real Men The Lint Roller I Live like this all Day Long Ride Hate, Misery, and the relief that only comes from sharing it Strut Agenda's The Cloying Sweetness of Roses Burning a Hole in my Pocket Polka Dot Confection Something Delectable I dance with the Goose Man, Coo Coo Kachoo Words, Blood and the Nemesis Lunch Lady Land Knowledge is Power We forget to live Madness and Mayhem As Good as Gone And I Run The Re-Gifter Blogging Innocence