Urinating in the Stream of Consciousness posted 7/8/2008 3:00:59 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse

fightingirish04

YAWN!!!!!!!!!

I need some drama. I'm on the verge of sending myself an envelope full of flour and telling my office I have Anthrax.

Or maybe I'll just get a My Space page...

My "quiet life of desperation" is making me long for the days of alcoholic blackouts and pregnancy scares. Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like? I haven't rushed out to buy a convertible or anything blatantly sad, but I do feel the clock of my own mortality ticking down like a timer on the baking muffins of doom.

My doom muffins are blueberry with crunchy sugared tops.

What do I do??? I could strangle the idiot in the office next to mine. You know...the guy with the annoying laugh, but how long would it take them to trace that back to me?

"We have been able to narrow the hunt for our suspect. Our investigators say he kicked the victim in the ribs 297 times with a size 12 shoe. We also believe the 42 packages of Post-It Notes shoved into the victim's throat may yield clues, as the attacker wrote, 'Die, you giggling bastard, die!!' on each and every note."

"...and then there's all the urine."

Between the heat and my own boredom, I'm on the verge of doing very bad things...or having "the sex" with my administrative assistant on top of the copier.

I guess I can keep myself busy shopping for a more comfortable copier...and a cuter admin!

Cheers!

Kyle~

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Blogs by fightingirish04: Spencer Pratt - What's That Smell? Foolish The World Is Coming To An End...So, Can I have half your sandwich? A Dismal Dirge For The Irish Dead Hail To The Chief - And Other Precipitation Urinating in the Stream of Consciousness Quid Pro Quo I Feel So Dirty Why Freedom Is So Difficult To Support It's Time To Invade Myanmar