Deda Day! Less Than 24 Hours! posted 7/14/2008 10:11:20 AM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: love, internet dating, soul mates, long distance

BionicCouple

The day we've been waiting for for two months has finally arrived. For some reason I've actually managed to contain my excitement until right now. I was so tired last night having stayed up until 5am talking to Deda. I guess some would wonder why I did this knowing full well he'd be here in a couple of days, but it's become a part of my day. Sometimes he calls me during the day, in the early hours over there - even then I still get online at 9pm as always. It's our time together, no interruptions! Sometimes I don't have much to say but I still want to be with him. I mean, when you're in love and in a relationship you still spend time together even when there's nothing to say - or more to the point plenty to say but the urge to be quiet is stronger! For me, it's the sign of a good relationship to be able to sit in comfortable silence together. That's not easy to do on the internet, but we have definitely had our moments.

Deda is almost bouncing off the walls with excitement, which isn't suprising as he's the one having to travel. He's also more extrovert than I am and communicates his feelings in the easy way a child has. I'm not sure how he is with others but I can read his face like a book. During our conversation yesterday his friends Harry and Susan came into the bookstore. They've helped us a lot through this relationship. Harry got the headset for Deda and Susan let him use her credit card to book his flight. They dropped by to make arrangements to weigh his luggage and before they left they waved and said Hi to me on cam and I could tell how excited they both were. This excitement must be infectious! He knows a lot of people and each and every one of them has sat in his seat and told me how excited they are for us both. Perhaps Americans have less reserve or maybe Deda's excitement and total confidence in what we're doing has worn off on them. I only wish I'd had the same kind of support here - not that I NEED it but I think my excitement levels would have been much higher if I'd got it. My friend Nicky called in this morning and is finally admitting how excited she is now she knows he's definitely coming. When she left I told her I'd be in touch as soon as I could and she gave me an old fashioned look, saying "Oh, don't worry about that, I'm sure I'll hear from you in time". After she left I felt the butterflies building up in my stomach. Other people's affirmation isn't necessary but it's always nice to know someone believes in us. When those closest to you don't acknowledge what's going on in your life it's almost as if it isn't really happening.

I've been reading a lot of blogs today and I've come to the conclusion that most people are cynical and negative because they think it's easier and less traumatic to expect disappointment. This is so ridiculous - expect disappointment and that's generally what you get. Surely it's better to expect great things, accept them for whatever they are when they happen and if it ends in disappointment then at least you enjoyed the experience. I can't imagine why the final feeling of disappointment would be less purely because you predicted it. I assume it's human nature brought on by living in a cynical world.

I must stop expecting others to see life the way I do. Not everyone is like Deda and me, we see life from a different perspective. I guess that's why we're ending up together...... Together! In less than twenty four hours!!!! This is really happening now and I've been through a million scenarios in my head knowing full well that whatever happens is what will happen and neither of us can predict that or follow a script. What I do know is that disappointment doesn't even come into it. Feelings and emotions can be easily explored on the internet if you put enough effort in. We know if we find someone attractive, interesting, funny, cute, endearing, loveable, sweet. We know if something's not quite right or if something's missing. We know when our heart beats faster or our body reacts in a certain way. We know when it's OK to be ourselves even if being ourselves means we're not exactly feeling, looking or behaving our best. What we don't fully know is literally how we feel. I know he's taller than me, but how much taller will he feel. I know he's tactile but how will that first hug feel? I know he can't wait to kiss me and I know it will come easily and freely but how will that first kiss feel? The answer is I won't know until it happens and that's all part of the excitement of it all.

Neither of us are perfect but we are perfect for each other. I feel like an army wife waiting for my man to come home. This feels so right - this is his home already and I know he'll fit right in with all the mayhem here. Life is full of ups and downs and we're both prepared for that. In fact we're looking forward to every moment of the rest of our lives together whatever it brings.

I love you Deda.

God Speed!

Your Angel

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