Hi all......I wanted to update everyone on my mommie.....
She started chemo/radiation this week....yuck
But what I want to discuss is the Stages of Death.....
I had no clue that there was such a thing.....
there is.....My mom found out about her cancer and the first stage
is shock.....disbelief.....have to get my not so far off future in order right NOW....
then the next stage is anger....mean.....upset...taking it out on the world....
the next stage is....giving up......letting yourself just fall to pieces......
I sit here and have had to deal with all sorts of stages from my mom.....
i jokingly said hey mom...are you sure its not late menopause that your going thru...he he
she said hell no I am dieing......well it seems it doesnt matter what anyone says.....she will bite your head off....
i cant just sit back and let her just lay there and give up...
and just die without giving the chemo a go....but she wont have no part in the living now that she is going to die....
she just wants to go now and be done with it.....what the hell .....
now i am going thru stages....living stages where i am positive one minute
and accepting the enevitable the next...
.rollercoaster ride up and then down....man it is really getting to me to....
Well i will keep my head up and think positive and hope i have her in my life a little longer...
i just wish she would not give up so easily.....
thanks to all who emailed me and have kept in touch with me...i love and appreciate all your caring and thoughtfulness.......  Cat
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missliss78
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Jul 16 @ 8:39PM
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Caffie...I know it is hard.
I've been there. Only it was my dad.
I do not want to come off sounding crass, but this is what I've got to say.......
It's her life, gf. She has to live & deal & die with it as she sees fit.
I KNOW it is OUR desire to hang onto them as much as we can....but really, is that fair? Think about it.
My father lived from February to September...knowing he was sick...knowing he was going to die. He did the radiation....he did 2 out of 3 chemo treatments. Was it worth it?  He had awful side effects from both....and he was gonna die either way...with or without those treatments.
Make the best of the rest.
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maggiemae684
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Jul 16 @ 8:43PM
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If you can get a copy of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's book "On Death and Dying" it has wonderful explanations of the stages of grief and how they interchange etc. Not only is your mom going through this but so are all of you close to her....your own grieving process. It's tough and my heart goes out to all of you.... 
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skylar4
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Jul 16 @ 8:44PM
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Cat, unfortunately it's one of the roughest rollercoasters you'll ever ride so when your alone or with a good friend break & release, then deep breaths, regroup & go back to mom & remember what I said.....leave nothing unsaid. Tell her all you have always wanted to say with all your hugs & kisses everyday. You are all in my prayers Cat. Here for you if you need me to be
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babydoll1970
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Jul 16 @ 8:55PM
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Sorry to hear you are going thru all of this.. I haven't been on much lately and didn't know your mom was even sick..
Just hang in there.. It may not seem like it, but being there and showing that unconditional love (no matter how cranky she gets) will make everything much easier on her.. If she does give up completely, she will at least go peacefully in mind knowing that you never gave up on her and that you are going to be just fine.. I do happen to know the struggles that the family goes thru with illness and people giving up on life.. And you will go thru stages of your own that will make you stronger in the end..
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sphynxsmile
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Jul 16 @ 9:09PM
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I'm so sorry to hear about all this. I don't spend much time on MD anymore. But may I suggest you read "Getting Well Again" by Carl Simonton. It is astounding and your mum should read it too. I met a cancer patient in CA who was on death bed 30 years back, but nursed herself back to good health and now helps others. The doctors didn't give her long then and 30 years later she's there and still going strong. Read it for you if your mum won't
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lazareth
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Jul 16 @ 9:14PM
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Caffiee, so very sorry to year ya'll are going thru this.
I too got that book when my dad was diagnosed with cancer.
The only thing I can tell you is that we took it one day at a time...
Prayers
Kay
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imlost2
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Jul 16 @ 9:31PM
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I wondered myself if something like that happened to me, what would I do? Kemo or not? Whatever my decision, I'd hope my family would understand and let me make the decision without a bunch of grief. I'm guessing since she's the one who feel she's dieing, she has had alot of time to think about her life and how she wants to spend the time she has. Therefore, even though this is so hard for you, I'd say listen to your Mom and try to understand. btw, my father died at home from cancer too, and that's the way he wanted it, so we honored his wishes. So I understand completely what you are suffereing from. tc God Bless Lost
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Schmoopy
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Jul 16 @ 10:15PM
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My dad is doing chemo...he has a bad week after treatment and then the next weeks he feels good. I know it is hard to watch a family member go thru this hell. You have to take it day by day.
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nah12
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Jul 16 @ 10:39PM
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I’m truly sorry for everyone’s pain. I know it is a rollercoaster ride for you , your Mom and everyone involved. One thing to try to remember is that sometimes facing the cure can be worse than facing the disease. Chemo/radiation is horrible and having to watch someone especially one you love is miserable and for the one taking it’s a living hell. It depends on each individual how they handle it. We can only be there for them and try to understand when nothing makes sense. Some just need more time to deal with chemo and will stop and later start back. It is a lot to deal with for more reasons than one as you very well know.
God bless you and your Mom and may you all find the strength as you go through this.
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beckyiv42000
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Jul 18 @ 2:29AM
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Caffie... YOU dear one must never give up on her... altho she says she wants to go I think they say that because they no longer want to be the cause of someones sorrow... they want to end the suffering of their loved ones... so show her that she needs to live .. show her your love.. and what she will be missing.. and let her know that its hurts you more that she is giving up ... lots of prayers and much love dear one... Its hard but in the end all that will matter is that you spent time with her .. loving her ... and letting her KNOW you love her.. no matter what
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caffie1
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Jul 18 @ 6:18PM
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thank you all......it is so hard...i am a basket case....i cry when i call her i dcry when i see her.....i just cant stop......i try so hard to be strong...but i cant.....
my step dad of 31 yrs died in 05 of cancer i watched him thru chemo and he quit it and he lived longer...but my mom cant she has to have it cause of her lymphnodes..they need to shrink so she can live a lil longer.....they can remove her one lung that has the cancer .....
thanks it means alot reading your comments love ya all for taking the time to comment and give me advise and strength.....i so need it ......Cat
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mystery2u888
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Jan 9 @ 2:05AM
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Just thinking of you sweetie...........sending healing an thoughts your way
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misschoos
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Jan 9 @ 4:02AM
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