Lieing here with sugar between my legs! posted 7/30/2008 9:07:56 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse

Kateslooking

Yes I actually have sugar between my legs. On of the pleasures I have to do is perform maintenance and needless to say a heavy jar of sugar allows me to have two hands available to type while I lie here awaiting the hour to tick by. A good time to write a blog dont ya think?

So some of you have commented in amayzement at my inner strenght and drive to be who I am. Some have said I am the strongest girl they have ever known. One girl said damm I want your body. My comment on that is it only costs 15,000 dollars and a shit load of jogging! And one guy said he wanted to lick me from head to toe. My warped reply to that one was do I use salt or pepper to season myself beforehand? The comments go on and on.

One of the things I have discoverd is that my change was actually quite easy. Surprise, you see in hindsight it was far more difficult to pretend to be someone you never were. Want to give it a try? Well halloween is comming up. I dare any girl to give it a try for a day to be a guy, and of course a guy trying to be a girl is always good for some laughs. For the girls I can give ya a couple pointers and that is to scratch, spint, and grunt a lot! All told the whole process of becomming myself was actually a complete joy and I was able to experience soo many things that so few get to experience.

For example there was a period of time where I was able to choose between myself, or if I was lazy a guy. I had some real fun with that and needless to say I do remember the last time I was in a guys bathroom. Walking in there felt sooo wierd and those urinals hanging on the wall looked like some sort of mad scientists idea of target practice. Humor even got the best of a friend since rite before I left for Thailand we were out shopping and had to go to the bathroom. I told her that for fun I was going to go to he guys bathroom. She had the look of horror on her face and I only added to it when I said hey I am legal to go in there! She ended up saying something like if you go in there then I should as well since ya just re-wrote the definitons of gender.

As time went on I came to realize that there was little hope for pretending to be a guy and I totally abandoned the idea when it got to the point that I was being called Mam when I was not even trying to be a girl. So with progress in life about that time I totally became me.

For those of you that are a little narrow minded you really need to think about this for a moment and realized that people like me just have a birth defect and needless to say we end up being raised as the sex we are but our minds are from the very begginning opposite of the sex our body is. The good thing about my situation is that this defect can be corrected with hormones, surgery and a hell of a lot of deprograming of the mind and re programing. Guess in a way it's like doing an FDISK on your computer hard drive and re-installing a whole new operating system. If all goes correctly the new opperating system works a hell of a lot better than the old one!

So my journey took just over a year! In all respects it was lightening fast and I know of few that do it like I did. See most transsexual women and men go through therapy and all sorts of shit, and follow a set of standards as they progress. I myself deplore the idea that I needed to pay someone a lot of momey to agree with me that I was a girl. This process can cost a person a ton of money and needless to say while I think a lot of people could benefit from therapy I do realize that there are people like me that are willing and able to assume the responsibility of addressing lifes little problems with a clear mind and making smart decisions along the way. The only time I saw a therapist was in Thailand before surgery and we sat down for a half hour and I drew a stick figure of a girl and a boy. He asked me some questions and I answered them frankly which in turn he ended up sitting back in his chair and reflecting. He then said you are being honest and I replied that I was and that I found if a crock of shit that I had to convince him to allow me to have surgery! Needless to say surgery comenced.

What happend to me after surgery? Well I was in the hospital for four days lieing there in pain. The real pain was from the boob job and truthfully I never remember feeling any pain from Lipo or SRS. On the other hand I was soo drugged up that I dont remember much anyways from the hospital.

Now when I got back to the hotel I did come to realized this huge sense of inner peace. It was like damm it I did it. I did something so few ever do! It was as if I had this huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The next thing that really hit me was the fact that I was never going to have children. This one still revolves around in my head and if there is one thing that pains me the most this is the one.

Perhaps many people feel this one and I was most not exempt. When a person fights for a long time to reach a goal and they finnally achieve it often they say to themselves "whats next" I think the best approach for all people is to have new goals that will replace the ones you attain and that way you dont fall into a rut like I did for about 30 minnutes. This girl never gives up. Really I think the best goals you can make for yourself are the ones you might never achieve like say climbing Mt. Everest.

Ok so people have asked whats it like now from a physical standpoint having had a boy parts and now girl parts. Well first of all the parts look just like any other girl. Medical science has the surgery down pat and needless to say the parts work as good or better than genetic girls. Yes thats what I said. The muscles are the same. The lubrication the same and well the sensations are the same (that last part is from countless women farther along than me since I have yet to figure it all out). The best part from a guys interest is the fact that hmmm well for the rest of my life I will always have that not so stretched aspect that guys seem to like. Sorry could not think of a better way to put that one.

With all that juicy stuff said daliy life is really no different and actually it is easier in some ways. To my pleasure I have come to realize that for the first time in my life if I wear a summer dress I can end up having just one piece of clothing on! Sometimes guys will ask a girl what its like to have thier parts and the most often response from a girl is like "its just there" If you were to ask me I would pretty much say the same thing but then probably say it is a hell of a lot more maintenace. Sometimes I wish I could have the no maintenance but damm I would not trade what I have for anything. Well actually I might barter something for an extra ovary. Any girls want to trade?

As always hugs and kisses for the guys!!

Katie

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Blogs by Kateslooking: Katie the Trans girl's long awaited update. The joy of educating people. Hi there everyone. A bit of an update. Women and guys. Hey girls. Heres a great way to weed out guys. Birthday Date and back for seconds. GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HAPPENED. Lieing here with sugar between my legs! Had another first for today. That wicked girl smile fell upon me today. Life just keeps on rolling on. Went shopping for an article of clothing and ended up crying. Made it past my third Birthday Katie's Udate. katies update. doing ok doing ok Well I was able to sneak out of the hotel to write one last blog before surgery. New birthday. New birthday. New birthday. Surgery two days from now. Plane flight from hell and now in Thiland Transsexual matchdoctor girl in end stages of the major changes in her life. Third birthday comming up.