A RETIRED PERSON'S RESPONSE TO A DUMB QUESTION:
Yesterday, I was at PetsMart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Angel the Wonder Dog. I was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her, "No, I don't have a dog. I am starting the Purina Diet again." I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets. Then you simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well, and I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both." I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. PetsMart won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say! May you...
Live well,
Love much, and
Laugh often!
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| ask a retired person and see what u get |
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XCALIBR39
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Aug 6 @ 8:58AM
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Now that's what I'd call true stand-up comedy.
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ragtopcookie
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Aug 6 @ 9:00AM
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What i like to do....is find somebody with those small lap dogs.....the ones that people treat better than they ever did their kids and walk up to them and say.....thats one ugly cat.......most take offence.....but a few do laugh.....some even argue with me about them not being a cat...but a dog......cookie
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EternalFlame
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Aug 6 @ 9:49AM
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Ah, an oldie but a goodie! I love this joke...thank you for reposting!
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Edelweiss
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Aug 6 @ 11:55AM
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KnittinKitten
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Aug 6 @ 12:48PM
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I needed that laugh....good one,......
KK
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teacuppoms
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Aug 6 @ 1:00PM
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THANK U GUYS FOR UR POSTINGS U ARE ALL GREAT
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h0pper
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Aug 6 @ 1:33PM
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I must say you are quick with your wit. Great to see that someone else seems to wonder the obvious. Are dumb questions dumb because I think they are dumb or are they just dumb? I will have to admit though, I was taught that there is no dumb question other then the one not asked. But, in this case, it was dumb
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kywonder
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Sep 5 @ 11:24PM
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If I ever get the chance to come back again, I want to be a dog, they get alot more, love, somebody is always petting them, and they never have to clean up after their self. Such a wonderful laugh, tears again.
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mystery2u888
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Sep 6 @ 12:02AM
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I love it........... 
 xoxo
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