I would like to share my thoughts re what I have observed over the time that I have been on net dating sites.
I have observed that whether it's real life and/or the internet, making the right connection is never easy. It is not as easy as it might seem, or what some of us choose to imagine it is.
We all fall into different categories.
When one has been single for any length of time, one can grow accustommed to living on ones own and being able to please oneself....and often become somewhat content with that...even tho disgruntled just sometimes. Being single we can tend to socialise with the same crowd, where it gets so comfortable, that we find difficulty in stepping out of our circle into the unknown....where it feels less comfy - we feel more secure the other way.
We can easily fall into this routine......its so easy to do for any of us, and we get comfy in that routine.
For one who is looking for that special someone....one has to change course sometimes. One can either do one of two things.....get out and about every whichway, mixing and mingling which can be costly....sometimes a cost some people find hard to recover......OR....go to dating sites....where one can meet more people in less time....and less expense.
Of course.....whether its on line or in reality.....one still doesn't know what one is getting. until both people meet up. But on here, people are looking for the same....and more readily give more details about themselves.....than they would be willing to in real life meetings. So often you get much more of a picture about a person, than you would in a face to face meeting in real life.
One can go on a date in real life learn a little, but not as much in comparison to meeting up on line and the frequency of it. In real life... after spending much money in dating and finding out about a person...it can fizzle out. It can fizzle out on the net also, but you get more of a background picture on here/more information over time chatting etc. More people are ready to kiss and tell on the net, because they are not face to face........where they would be more recluctant to in real life.
There are people who are so lonely and desperate, that they are willing to give anyone a shot, no matter how they seem....either in real life or on the net, even if it doesnt work out.
Then there are those of us, who are too afraid to make mistakes/ waste our time looking for someone in real life.... (I am probably included in this category)...we get picky......wont meet up, until we get as much info about a person as possible.....and until we feel totally comfortable. And only then will we meet and give it a shot.
Then there are those men and women on the net who are ONLY looking for sex and good times, they dont want to live with anyone or give up their freedom, they want the best of both worlds.....sex and good times when they feel like it.
Then there are the marrieds, where the marriages are in trouble, as in.....no sex or intimacy. They still love their partners like a family member, and are comfortable with their life.... still have a good relationship with their wives or husbands, other than the lack of intimacy......and wont give it up for anything. All they want is the sex and intimacy on the side...(cheating) and if the other partner doesnt find out, their life is perfect. Too bad about the other 1/2 that trusts them, they dont care about that part......they just want the best of both worlds.
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read more blogs!
Blogs by marylou:
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| My observations on the net over a period of 12 years. |
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newpatches
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Aug 7 @ 11:58PM
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That's pretty much it in a nutshell. So where do I fit in that? I'm good "as is".
Cyber space is a mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly and a place where one is probably gonna get more of an education than they intended in the beginning.
But I have survived it mostly kickin' and screamin' and I'm one of the lucky ones to come out of all the B.S. a better person for it.
I'm pretty much not looking but there's always hope...same as everyone else in these sites as long as we're breathin'.... 
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mystery2u888
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Aug 8 @ 12:32AM
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 Marylou this is a great observation and I agree...............you either have to be willing online it is about communication and how well you do it..........as in real life dating it could take months.........to be able to communicate with some people as your too busy on dates and have interruptions ect dinner, movies ect...........online you just have exchanged emails ........maybe talk ........but the bottom line is......how far you want to go.....are you a traveler and willing to uproot and leave your home............for the right person........  some are in a dream land ......because......that means your leaving your home, family friends it's a big step........definitely but........some will succeed and I have seen it done a few times.........  some are not so lucky......and the dream is just a fantasy.....and the reality of it is.........is just that.......they may never meet.....  because of the distance.......and it's just .....what it is... ......an online relationship.....but......fantasy...  ...as deep down......some may never ever travel .......to go the extra mile ........for that one in a lifetime person........it's the risk you take........I have no problem traveling..5000 miles ...........  so it's not a big deal for me.......and I have.......and......will be in travel again......  .........It's a big risk for anyone.........and like I said some have been successful....  .......which I am very happy for.............  Other's not so lucky........sadly...........  when the time is right..........the people will know............it's a gamble like with anything........but..........most here.......are thousands of miles apart.........and you really have to think about that........and how comfortable you are......and not to rush into anything too quicky........... 
Fantastic blog.........good insight..........
xoxo
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marylou
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Aug 8 @ 1:24AM
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Pt 2......to this blog.....is on the side of the window...*LAST COMMENTED ON*
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vinnytmd
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Aug 8 @ 1:34AM
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very nice Marylou. Quite thought provoking. Todays world in the States is way too complex.
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ragtopcookie
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Aug 8 @ 1:59AM
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Ive been single along time now......ive dated alot over the years......came close to marriage twice......as close as ive wanted to be i guess.....i use to think that single parenting got in the way of that.....but as i look back.....being married only once and at a young age......im really not so sure at my age now that marrage is that big of a thing for me now......i was told many years ago that lonelyness is just a state of mind....like any other emotion.....but if you let it...it can rule you to the point of making you make bad decisions that you know are not right for you in the long run.....of course....it could be that ive not met the right woman for me yet.....but i think its more the fact that i really dont want to be married again....i look around at all the unhappyness out there...both single and married people....and i ask myself is my life as it is right now....all that bad......and then i tell myself that no....its not....it could be alot worse........but then again...with the right person in my life...would it be better.....i guess i cant answer that right now because she is not.....so i guess the bottom line will be to see my daughter thru her education and get her out on her own....and then maybe look around then...and see if anything has changed as to what i really want in a relationship.....cookie
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fenderchick
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Aug 8 @ 1:10PM
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Mary Lou this is so true...Great blog...
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marylou
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Aug 12 @ 2:05PM
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Thank you for your comments folks !
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