An interesting observation came from an on-line friend a few days ago. It’s been rolling around between my ears and finally found a few words that seemed to be of value. The statement was something to the effect of “single people seem to be constantly busy because they are doing everything for themselves”. Well, that is an interesting idea and I suppose there is a certain amount of truth in it, but it also suggests that if you are other than single, you gain that time back. I’m not so sure of that, in fact I hope it’s NOT true.
If we are in a relationship, we should be spending a good deal of our “extra” time doing things for our significant other. The “division of chores” that happens in a relationship doesn’t mean we are prevented from participation in those “others” chores, in fact, by joining in we often are spreading a bit more of that icings on the cake we call the relationship. But as relationships develop and age, we tend to get away from that and also tend to focus on “our” wishes rather than both or our interests, thus furthering that great divide which can start a relationship down the path of failure.
Perhaps the hardest part of all of this is convincing or demonstrating to our future significant other that our intentions are real and true. Of course, the other part is also being honest to ourselves that those intentions are indeed real and true. We have seen quite a few people over the years that “play the game” to get what they want, only to switch back to their old habits, earning the label of Mr. or Mrs “wrong”.
The more I study it all the more I am convinced that so many of those words of wisdom I heard from my parents, things like “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” weren’t just catchy sayings. They had given me the real keys to successful relationships. Sadly, so many of those keys have been lost on the upcoming generations as well as our own.
We can only hope that over time, they might find their way back into our vocabulary as well as our own list of maximums that guide our lives …
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