Or at least I thought I did.
Have you thought you made a friend, then looked back & wondered how you missed all of the red flags? Red flags are not something to be overlooked. Whether making a friendship or pursuing a relationship with someone, one should pay attention to those red flags.
I guess some of the red flags I am thinking of right now are what some refer to as “deal breakers.” However, when making friends with someone you would not expect the red flags to carry the same connotations…..oh, but they do.
Political beliefs, religious beliefs, sexual orientation…moreover sexual likes/dislikes (tastes/desires), simple attitude dispositions….these all are important issues when it comes to forging relationships of any kind. Personally, one’s political & religious beliefs are NOT deal breakers for me, though I know they are for some people. One’s sexual orientation….that does not affect me one way or the other….though for some, I’m sure it does….as for sexual desires…it should not have a thing to do when you are making friends, but it can be a clue as to what type of person you are dealing with. I could go on, but I’m sure you get my drift here.
Some people are hell bent on their way being the only way….and all the rest are “fools.” “Do not suffer fools, Melissa.” Yes, this is a saying I’ve heard more than once. And though there have been many I have attempted to befriend for numerous reasons, some times I find there is still cause to pause. Step back, take a look around…survey all of the evidence that is out there (for example, be sure to do a Google search on all known profile names, etc.). People are not always what they present themselves to be. The public & the private images are often totally different. Some times, even scary! Yes, they may have pictures that present a wonderful way of life….they may even be fun to “hang out with” to some extent…but be weary of the closed doors….there’s no telling what might be behind them!
These are simply some thoughts I’ve had of late and I felt they were important enough to share. Overall, I think it is very important, especially in this venue, for all of us to take our time and take a long hard look at who we choose to befriend & who we desire more with.
Happy blogging, people!
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| I made a friend one time.... |
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kywonder
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Sep 15 @ 10:49PM
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My momma always told me the same thing about fools, only a little different. [/QUOTE]Never argue with a fool in public; the passerby can not tell which one is the fool[QUOTE]
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wolfmist
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Sep 15 @ 10:52PM
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Hey now.. be careful checking out google for nicknames and real names... My name IRL is as common as John Smith and as frequently found in my area as John Smith is. My last name is common here. There's a town here with my last name, a huge war hero with it and a lot of people of a lot of races share it. There is another person with my name that uses my vet and at least one that uses my doctor. I know this because our charts have gotten confused from time to time. If you were to decide to google my real name you'd get a zillion hits... none of them would be me. I'm careful about that kind of thing. I had one whacko parking outside my house 16 years ago because he figured out through a billboard where I lived... never gonna happen again.
My nickname... wolfmist.. is part of a longer nick I used eons ago when the net was young... I used to be known as Wolf MistWeaver... shortened it to wolfmist because it was easier...
Since I did, several people have ripped it off. Or giving them the benefit of the doubt, come up with it on their own. At least two of them are men. One of those has a website about deviant art. That's not me. So if you google wolfmist, you won't find me. You'll find several people who liked my nick and are using it. I've even found profiles that SOUND like me, are from my state and are not me. There's even a wolfmist.com that has nothing to do with me.
Anyone can write anything about you, pretending to be you and have it come up on google search. They can post your picture claiming to be you.
The best way to be sure someone is who they say they are is let a professional person find out. You might end up out of pocket... but it's safer than trying to do it on your own.
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Purplemix1
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Sep 15 @ 11:04PM
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When a person hopes for someone to share life with sometimes you try to look at the things that appeal to you, and it's so easy to overlook the parts that you think may not be perfect. but after all is said and done,,,it's so easy to see where things just were not as good as they sounded or seemed at the time, as the saying goes, HINDSIGHT,,,,,,don't we all wish we could have BEFORESIGHT,,,,,,,,it would save so much in many ways, money, heartache,, but with time, heartache lessen, or so they say,..... just my opinion.............
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redtigr
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Sep 15 @ 11:34PM
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I don't mind if someone is quite different from me, or sees the world differently or even has differing beliefs (to a certain extent.) But when they hide things, or try to force their ideas on me or take advantage of my generous nature, I kick them to the curb.
Kindness, empathy and compassion should always be tempered with discretion - and self-preservation.
After all, most of the world will perceive us to be kindred spirits with those who purport to be our "friends". Thus we should not suffer fools - nor be one.
Nice blog.
~*~
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SallyF
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Sep 15 @ 11:42PM
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Interesting thoughts, missliss. I look for the good in people, and that's usually what they present; but one can't innocently assume that there aren't other 'sides'. Hm-m-m. There are some 'fine lines' to walk when deciding to allow a growing trust.
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Kaylajudy
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Sep 16 @ 12:01AM
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I think sometimes we don't realize what the red flags are when we're younger, and when problems arise, you learn from it. When we get older though, we know about the red flags but have a tendency to overlook them. One must not let their guard down, even though the person seems trustworthy. 
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maggiemae684
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Sep 16 @ 12:58AM
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Red flags and gut instincts should always be heeded. If someone deliberately hides a part of them from you then that would make me wonder what type of friend, lover, and companion they would be in a long term relationship.  
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needa
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Sep 16 @ 6:58AM
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Truer words were never spoken, gf!
~*~
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whatagal
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Sep 16 @ 9:50PM
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Gee I wonder who this is about! 
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teddybearagain
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Sep 20 @ 4:41PM
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At times my dear friend we see those red flags and choose to ignore them, for whatever reason. Maybe we want something so badly sometimes they don't seem so vivid in color. Those hues of red may even take on a pinkish tint, as to satisfy our own needs, wants and/or desires.
Great blog ~*~
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CHARLIgurl1
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Sep 20 @ 4:54PM
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I think like any new relationship whether it be romantic or otherwise, it takes a while to get to know the real person.
New relationships are usually what I call surface interaction, nothing deep enough to really se what they are about, but when the red flag does go up.. youre right.. if you ignore your own instincts its only allowing worse to follow.
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