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The Unavoidable Laws of the Universe....

posted 9/19/2008 8:21:43 PM |
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tagged: joke, law
  scorpiogirl36




1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Smith's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they'll stop making it.

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Comments:
Jacksonboy

Sep 19 @ 8:27PM  
20. Law of Matchdoctor: If you make a profile the scammers will find you.
fenderchick

Sep 19 @ 8:34PM  
#1 should be whenever your baking and your hands are full of flour or dough too!

VaPeppermintPatti

Sep 19 @ 8:39PM  
Law of Wet Fingernail Polish: You have to go pee or the cat/dog needs a scritchin'!!

{Sidebar: It is just LOVELY to have fingertips that look like you're turning into a werewolf after scritchin' a shedding cat.}
kywonder

Sep 19 @ 8:39PM  
Truer words were never spoken. I believe I have had most of those laws occur in my life.
scorpiogirl36

Sep 19 @ 8:56PM  
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).
This one is a "no fail" for me
dallas1995

Sep 19 @ 8:58PM  
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
happens all the time
scorpiogirl36

Sep 19 @ 9:40PM  
Law of Matchdoctor: If you make a profile the scammers will find you.
The Scammer mail is hot and heavy tonight..
leefl

Sep 19 @ 9:45PM  
#1 needs to add 2 more things that will itch, your balls or ass.
butterfly943

Sep 20 @ 12:10AM  
love it and all are so true
melodygirl

Sep 20 @ 3:00PM  
you always need to scratch an itch..when you cant,lol:)
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The Unavoidable Laws of the Universe....