A rather interesting quotation passed over my desk this week that I thought I would share with you all. In referencing an issue that was occurring within my department, someone stated in an e-mail that “There is more than one way to skin a cat”. Of course, I have many thoughts on this subject that I will not share with you.
First off, you have to understand where this phrase originated from. In 1855 this quote first arrived as “there are more ways of killing a cat than choking it with cream”. Mark Twain later shortened it to “She knew more than one way to skin a cat” in A Connecticut Yankee. To be honest I don’t understand why the 19th century British were so fascinated with the prospect of killing cats, but this is their legacy.
Regardless, I am not dealing with the implications of this generic and wholly politically incorrect statement. Simply put, it is obvious that there is more than a single method of skinning a cat. However, there might be only 1 correct, efficient, humane way of skinning a cat. You can probably skin a cat by nailing its head to a wall and pulling really hard on the tail…….. But that doesn’t mean it is the right way to do it.
I would have to check with some form of national cat skinning organization to be able to tell you the proper way to skin a cat, but thus far my search for such an organization has resulted in no leads. If anyone is familiar with such a group could you please have them contact me so that I can leave no stone unturned in my search for the facts about cat skinning?
Back to the point at hand, there is another more sinister element to this whole cat skinning business. To me it seems reasonable that there are hundreds of food sources that, even in the 19th century, would be far superior to eating cat meat. I’ve never thought of going down to Burger Cat and ordering a Garfield special (hold the catsup) and some Calico fries. Have you recently been enticed by an advertisement for All You Can Eat Tabby Claws at Red Catster? I don’t think so, and if you have I really don’t want to know about it.
That’s not to say that we haven’t eaten a feline dish inadvertently. I myself will never step foot in another Chinese buffet after hearing some of the police horror stories regarding the small animal carcasses they found in the basement of my local eatery. We might as well all face it; at some point we’ve probably all eaten cat, dog, horse, iguana, peacock, snake, dolphin, and turtle. (Who doesn’t like a good turtle burger every now and then?) We just don’t want to know when we do. Ignorance is bliss, especially when you are ignorant of where that sea otter biscuit you just ate actually came from.
I have been on this linguistic rampage regarding cat skinning for about 3 days now, and it has led me in some strange directions. One of my so-called friends suggested that the Vietnamese must use cat meat in their breaded cat balls. I had to point out the obvious of course; that not only would the name be misleading, but supply would be extremely restricted if breaded Vietnamese cat balls were made of penguin.
Irregardless, which isn’t a word in the English language but that pisses my boss off immensely, this cat skinning must stop. Researching methods of cat de-furring only avoids the principle of the argument; that we must find new ways to approach problems in order to solve them. Seeing as my work here is now done, I am off to McDognalds for a Big Max meal. (I can’t get enough of their pigeon fries… Their Pigeon-tastic...)
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