Buttsex... (Yes I just said that) posted 9/21/2008 10:43:44 AM | 2 kudos what's this?     report abuse

Intellectual_Masochist

I was thinking the other day how it defies my comprehension that people seem to enjoy buttsex as much as they do. I have only taken part in 1 instance of said activity, and did not see what was so special about it. (Well, that's a lie... twice technically, but the second one was a COMPLETE accident.)

I have tried to trace back the origins of buttsex, but I believe it goes farther back than recorded history. During my search I did find that, during the early 2nd century Catholic priests came together with and spoke a collective "You're wrong." The rest of the world let out a collective "Awwwwww???!!" while years later Catholic priests whispered amongst themselves "Didn't we mean to say you're doing it wrong?".

(Yes, I realize I'm going to hell for that... But so is CarrotTop... In fact, I'm sure he'll be my own private hell...)

Many issues come up when thinking about buttsex. I'm sure we've all stumbled upon the videos online of women with sphincters that you could shove a bat into without touching the sides. The implications of that are staggering, as every time one of these stretched-out buttholes passes by a fan wouldn't it whistle? Imagine the embarrassment of walking in from of an air conditioning unit and having your butt sound like a jug band.

Then there's the poop problems. First off, would it even be possible to control your bowels at that point? Wouldn't everything just drop out whenever you breathed in too deeply or bend down to tie your shoe? And when it did come out (and you managed to be sitting on a toilet) wouldn't the velocity it came out with soak not just your backside but everything in the entire room?

There is no really good way to close out this blog... I've tried for 20 minutes and can't think of a good ending. So write your own ending in the comments field. Call this "The IM Blog Challenge".

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

Blogs by Intellectual_Masochist: The Worst Thing That Can Happen... The Difference Between Men and Women It just wouldn't fit... Obscure Celebrity Interviews. Have you ever.... Buttsex... (Yes I just said that) Here Kitty Kitty Kitty... My Next Week's Schedule... Inaccurate Information For Your Amusement... Time Travel In Your Own Mind...