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posted 9/21/2008 7:08:16 PM |
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tagged: cute, funny
  butterfly943

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.


Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.


Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.


Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.


Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love
You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.


Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get
Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.


Q. As you grow older , do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
give you a gesture you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, wh y do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps.One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.


Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.<
/SPAN>


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.


Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.


Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head,what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


Q. W ho stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q. When a couple have a baby, w ho is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by butterfly943:
Blond Men Joke
Written For My Brother ( Joe ) by his Daughter
Joke--Sorry but I had to do this
A Beautiful New Day
Smacked by Love
Guidance--( Forwarded Email )
Understanding Feelings
Joke--
Something To Think About
Happy Birthday My Green Eyed Love
Breathing Crisis
Lost Loves, Revisited Loves
Jokes
A Walk in the Woods with my Brothers
When we Meet
Blog Land Rocks
Joke--Sex Frogs
Please read this one--Justice in some ways (caution stronge words used )
The time has come (update)
One of those days
poem----not sure who wrote it
causes
Moving on
A Mothers Poem
To my Aunt Marie (poem)


Comments:
ghost42950

Sep 21 @ 7:22PM  
Hollywood Squares Lives On
Thank You Lady - Been some time since I heard most of them
IB4U

Sep 21 @ 7:51PM  


Made me laugh .....Loved those guys....
kywonder

Sep 21 @ 8:12PM  
Excellente
WSOR

Sep 21 @ 9:14PM  
Classic stuff. Match Game was another good game show with off the cuff remarks like that.
Jacksonboy

Sep 21 @ 9:17PM  
most excellent
WouldntItBeGr8To

Sep 21 @ 11:22PM  
ahhhhhhhhhh,
Good semi-clean humor!
That felt good to laugh like in the old days...........oh dang, guess that makes me old who cares, those were great!
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Jokes