Dear Ms. Murray
As you will have noticed, I’ve cancelled accounts, changed my identity, made my sites private, but in the end I also changed my mind, I really couldn’t care less, why should I have to do that?
I’m not sure why you feel it necessary to follow me on the internet and to write me and thank me for leaving twenty stone of flesh behind. There really is no need to thank me, you are more than welcome.
At first I had every sympathy with his weight issues being caused directly as a result of taking life saving medication. That was until I noticed about forty chocolate bars a week being consumed on top of everything else. He blamed the dog once, but the dog couldn’t get in the fridge and besides if the dog had eaten them, how could the fat appear on someone else? His second excuse was that they weren’t chocolate bars, they were biscuits from the chocolate bar section of the biscuit aisle.
Have you noticed that he always buys a doughnut for the dog too? I suggested a bone for the dog, but he wouldn’t have been able to eat that himself.
He will buy you no end of chocolates, cashew nuts and anything edible that he likes, but if you can’t eat them all straight away, he will, and then he will have to buy you some more to replace them, and so it goes on.
Miraculously however, he did start to lose 4lbs a week, he was still taking the medication and eating the chocolate bars and as the weeks went by, the pounds fell away until there shouldn’t have been anything left of him at all. But there was, there was still twenty stone left, a little too much for my liking.
He will tell you that he is 14 stone, my advice would be not to burst his little bubble. I called him a fat ba$tard once, it didn’t go down very well.
…to be continued…
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