My one America Is type rant.... America is becoming an almost Nazi state thanks to social services and their overzealous insane desire to steal our children on the one hand and leave children in the care of dangerous individuals on the other! They tell our kids to report on what's going on at home. We have no control anymore and people wonder why kids are out of control? It's parental fear! Any time one of my kids gets a visible bruise I'm terrified... heaven forbid they get a black eye!
I have a friend who was a foster parent for 20 years. She took all the hard cases. The disabled kids, the emotionally damaged kids, the ones they couldn't place. Eventually she adopted a sibling group of 4 kids who had been so brutally abused by everyone in their lives that everyone related to them or who knew them as "family friends" was in jail for the abuse. These kids had some severe behavior problems which my friend was working through with therapy and her good no-nonsense loving care.
She was in the hospital having BRAIN SURGERY... that's right... brain surgery. One of the boys had a temper fit and knocked his sister to the floor and was trying to choke her. When her husband pulled him off, the child got a bruise on his wrist. At school he told the teacher his father beat him. Teacher told principal who told guidance counselor who called in social services who didn't even talk to Dad or me, who was watching the kids after work till dad came home. Social services called the police, Dad was jailed, kid removed to foster care and mom charged with 9... yes I said 9... counts of neglect. Apparently she was supposed to let that anuerysm blow just in case her son went off.
The upshot was... four years in foster care... ending up in the juvie detention center went by before we got her son back. Social worker had to admit to lying under oath.. and didn't lose her job, btw and all charges against dad and mom were cleared. FOUR YEARS and hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees... and extensive damage to the family and the one boy in particular.
My friend Christa is raising 3 of her grandchildren because their parents are crackheads. The eldest who is 9 was molested by her step-brother when she was 6. Eldest girl is a good kid. You'd like her... but she's a drama queen. She says crazy things sometimes... sometimes she just says that she smells like sour cream and onions and asks you to smell her. Sometimes she says she smells like cotton candy or flowers or a hamster. Sometimes she tells crazy 9 yr old girl stories about her dream last night or just some nutty kid thing she made up. My kids did this. All kids do this. One day at recess she was lying in the grass... the teacher asked her what she was doing. She said she was pretending she was dead because she wondered what it was like to be dead. She wet her pants because the teacher wouldn't let her use the rest room and she just couldn't hold it.
The school counselor thinks she's crazy wants to put her on medication. Two trips to two different shrinks who have BOTH said she does't need medication, that she's just a 9 yr old girl don't make any difference to the school. They believe she should be on meds so they are trying to get social services to intervene.
LUCKILY Christa's got a good social worker (I believe they are few and far between and I don't mean to offend but I've had a LOT of bad experience with child care workers) who knows her granddaughter is just being a kid.
Now, an example of a bad social worker... Christa's daughter's (the crackhead mom) worker wants her to be able to visit with the kids who have been removed from her custody and put in Christa's... even tho the kids are terrified she'll take them away. Even tho she keeps TELLING them she's going to take them home soon. Even tho she wants to have them visit with the step-brother who molested her OWN DAUGHTER!!!
And now is talking about if she can keep clean for six months giving her back the kids. It's UNBELIEVABLE!!! Can you imagine in your wildest dreams giving a child back to the mother who allowed her to be molested and thinks it's appropriate to bring the molester around the child?
We need to revisit the system. It believes if you punish your kids by not letting them watch TV for a week, you're abusive. If you don't let them play with their friends for a week, you're abusive. If you take away their game console for a week, you're abusive. We won't even talk about swatting them on the behind!
These people are out of control!
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| My general social services rant.. |
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wolfmist
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Sep 24 @ 5:54PM
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OHHH and one part of my rant I forgot!
School thinks I shouldn't be involved... even tho I'm the one who drives her to the shrink, sits in the waiting room waiting for her, I'm the one they call when she needs to be picked up from school for whatever reason, talks to her about her feelings, keeps her at my house when her mother is visiting, takes her for girls' day out and generally acts like an unofficial aunt.... but of course, they know her better.
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whiteghost672
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Sep 24 @ 6:10PM
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I have to totally agree with you about social services.
My oldest daughter was removed from my care. All I WANTED was to have her tested to see what was wrong with her. She was labeled ADHD, bipolar, couple more labels I can not think of right now. I knew that she acts younger then her age (she is now 16 & a half). She acts & tells stories like a 5-9 yr old does. March of 2007 she was taken from me, put in a group home with 14 other teenage girls (she has always had a problem with a lot of people since she was 2 weeks old). The group home 'parents' & girls would go out of their way to get her mad so that she would lose out on calling me & our visits together. In Jan she was taken out of there & placed in a 'girls correctional school' more like a PRISON. She was suppose to be there for only 3 months, over 8 months have gone by & she is still there. I have been fighting to get her back, only people want her back with me is my family, my friends, my councilor. Everyone else is working against me. The judge told me what I HAD to do to get her back (has to be done by the time we go to court in 5 months). I am trying to do what he said, but everywhere I go to get what needs to be done done, Im told NO WE CAN NOT DO THAT, NO WE CAN NOT HELP, NO YOU HAVE TO GO ELSE WHERE.
 
Sorry for my reply being so long. Welfare, social services, school guidance counselors any & all that are suppose to help instead go out of their way to make trouble.
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wolfmist
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Sep 24 @ 6:16PM
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I wish I could help. I know it's VERY rough. My friend's son went from regular foster care, to a "school," to "theraputic foster care," to what they call the Children's Youth Center... which IS the jail but they put disturbed kids they can't control in any other setting in there with the criminal kids. He was on so much medication he was all puffy and barely recognizable, very dull witted and slow.
Once he was out, off all meds, he lost weight, regained his interest in life and she moved OUT of this state to another one and he's doing MUCH better there.
Best of luck to you. Keep on fighting!
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cOuNtRyGiRl816
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Sep 24 @ 6:28PM
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THere are a few good social workers out there that truly do want to benefit the children. But then you have those others....they do what THEY think is in the best interest of the child, and regardless of what anyone who knows the kid better says...they're gonna do want they want. and ya know why? Because they can. They have the power and the authority! Its a power trip for them. They don't really care about the child in question. They just want to be able to go to all their snooty friends and gossip about this and that.
A very good friend of mine had 2 children with the now e-girlfriend. I've been around him and his children millions of times and to me he seems like a great dad!! Now the mother on the other hand, I was also a good friend of hers. But I truly feared for those children while they were with her. I felt like I had to do something. Chris, my friend, hated having to take his kids back to their mother who had custody. He only had visitation. She was on crack, cocaine, weed, and we suspected meth, but couldn't prove it. She also drank. ALOT. Anyways, No matter how many times Chris reported the mothers lifestyle to chldrens services, they did nothing. They insisted that the children were better off with the mother. A child should never be without their mother, they said. So I stepped up and I called them myself. And so did Chris' mother, and his other friends, and a couple other people. And while it may have not been my place, or anyone else' to do so, apparently it made a diference. They mde a surprise visit to the mothers, and caught her having sex in the living room , high on God knows what, while the kids were locked in the bedroom. (From the outside!) The house was disgusting, bug infested, and their were cut up straws laying around, alcohol bottles and cans everywhere.
But anyways, that story hs a happy ending. The kids are doing great now. THey only have supervised visits with the mother, and Chris has full custody. The mother is now in rehab as well.
But it is really sad that it took that many ppl to get those social workers to finally step up!!
Something needs to be done about these so-called social workers.
((Sorry the post was so long! Just kinda hit a soft spot!))
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MrPaul
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Sep 24 @ 6:44PM
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e38]  The system that was set up to help children and families and to prevent or stop abuse is out of control.   Instead of working with families and helping them reunite the system is bent on tearing them apart to justifie there jobs.  They will lie, write false reports and have there buddies lie with them.  If you dare to question them or there actions they turn into the gestapo and will stop at nothing to ruin you  . Most of them don't even have kids or like kids and have no real life training working with children.  Its a shame that the group that should be helping families and children have become the gestapo that ruins families, terrorize children and tosses them around in group homes and detention center like rag dolls . To the few case workers that really care and try to help (about 15%0 in my 25 years of experience working with and dealing with case workers my  off to you. To the rest shame shame judgment day is coming
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jamie63
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Sep 24 @ 6:50PM
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I am completely horrified by the events you describe in your blog and dealing with social services.
Anyone who has read my profile knows that I am an investigator with CPS and the situations that happened in the cases you describe would not have happened in Texas. Had I been the investigator, I would have interviewed the child who was the "victim" and also taken into account his behavioral issues as well as interviewing the other children in the home. I would interview the teacher, counselor and therapist to see what concerns they have for the children involved. I would also be talking to you because you do take care of the children and you would be an excellent collateral. I would interview the parents to find out their side of the situation and then staff with the supervisor.
I cannot believe that no one interviewed the father or the mother after she recovered but just jumped to conclusions. That burns me up because it's bad casework that gives us good caseworkers bad names.
With reference to your friend with her grandchildren, kids tell stories and it is up to the caseworker to determine if it is true or fabricated. Again, talking to all parties involved and collaterals. I certainly would NEVER allow the sexual perpetrator to visit the children and if the mother is not protective or has not gotten clean of drugs then she would not be visiting either except under supervised situations. I have had a case where there was a bad caseworker who allowed the perp to have contact with his victim. Made me MAD and I worked with the mother to bring it to the courts attention.
Don't think that all Social Services workers are bad, because there are those of us who are good. I care about all of the children who come across my desk, but I am also willing to call the BS factor when a kid's story doesn't make sense. I'll even call a parent on the carpet about things that they say that don't make sense. I've thrown a father who was over 400 lbs and was well over 6 ft out of my office because he called his child a liar on how she said she got her bruise. That was because how he said she got it didn't make sense. The child ended up back with her mother.
I could go on and on, but this year I have only had 2 removals this year in all the cases that I've received so far.
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DaisyMae420
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Sep 24 @ 7:32PM
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Jamie, I'm so glad you put in your 2cents worth.
Some children need to be removed, some don't. And for the record...some Social Workers (real social workers, the ones with the degree and a license) spank thier children. There's a major difference in spanking and beating.
It's unfortunate that people make mistakes and I won't make excuses for workers who make a "bad call". But I will not apologize for being a social worker. Laws vary from state to state. I don't work for Child Protective Services and have no power to remove. I do know that removal does not happen on a whim, if it did more kids would be in out of home placements.
And Wolf, Social Services does NOT I repeat DOES NOT want your child.
My suggestion is this....if you have the answers and can do a better job please get the right degree and credentials and jump in there, we need more qualified Social Workers! We are overworked, understaffed and underpaid!
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lazareth
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Sep 24 @ 8:38PM
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I spanked my son (he's now 19 and in college) twice.
When I was a kid my step dad tore my ass up. I DID deserve a spanking casue Daisy and I got caught throwing rocks at one another... a BIG NO NO when ya both wear glasses.
But he tore my ass up, bend over, grab your ankles kind of ass whoopin. But then again my step dad was beat when he was a kid. He never had "normal" punishment. SO when he tore me up he just had no idea what " a proper spankin' was supposed to be. My mom "enlightened " him on how to punish.
To this day we can laugh about that spanking. I never got another spanking after that. ( and didnt want one lol)
A friend of mine from years ago had Social Services called on her. Apparently the school thought Linda wasn't taking her kid Ashley to the doctor for a chronic ear infection. Thing is, Linda had the kid at the doctor every damn week, the infection just wouldnt clear up. At and that time, the schools were in the mode of" we can no longer administer meds at school" type BS.
And Social Services showed up at Linda's door. SHe clearly told them to get off her property or she would see them in court. They showed up a second time.... she took the Social worker to court for harrassment, the she went after the school.
Needless to say, they never bothered Linda again.
But I knew kids who needed to be removed from their homes and not once did the school ever step in when several kids came to school unbathed for weeks at a time, the same filthy clothes, hungry everyday, lice in their hair and knowing these poor kids parents, they needed to be in jail.....(for other reasons)
it just freakin figures.......
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