Lyn and I enjoyed the elderflower cup which was very refreshing once diluted. Poor Julie had almost choked on a neat glass earlier and wasn’t recommending it. In fact, my friend and I had two glasses and soon needed the Ladies. Whoever decorated the Toilets must have been giants because, at 5’ 4”, I couldn’t see in the mirrors to replenish my lipstick. Giggling about this, we made our way back outside and stood in the sunshine for a while so Lyn could have a cigarette. I was beginning to feel hungry by this time as the caterers were preparing steak and salmon on the barbecue and the aroma emanating across was delicious. Before too long we were being lead by our rumbling stomachs to our tables. Lyn and I had been put on “The Friends Table”, traditionally known as “The Noisy Table” at most weddings I’ve been to. Soothing, classical music played in the background during dinner and our table was probably quieter than the rest to begin with. Possibly because we were hungry by this time and the food looked so good. Before too very long, my friend Lyn was asking everyone about themselves and, as the wine flowed, we all began to loosen up a bit. When it came to my turn to explain how I knew the bride and groom I simply said I’d not met either of them before that day as I was one of Ian’s internet friends. If I’d dropped a pin you would have heard it in Dover Town Centre! I decided not to elaborate in case I dug myself into a deeper hole rather than out of one.
Well we all made more than a meal of the delicious salmon and steak with all the salad trimmings including yummy home made coleslaw, pasta salad and those lovely little new potatoes with the skins on. I ate so much I had no room for the roll on my side plate, in fact I was in such a hurry to tuck in I’m ashamed to say I didn’t even take the time to put my serviette across my lap. I don’t know why weddings make people so hungry, it’s a strange phenomena! I wouldn’t mind betting we were all full, but no one was going to turn down the offer of dessert. The staff had come around earlier saying there was plenty more steak and salmon if we wanted seconds and we were thinking maybe it would be the same with the desserts. Profiteroles, banoffee pie and raspberry roulade were all on the menu. It became a competition for who’d chosen the best dessert between Lynn and Dougie, a really old friend of Ian’s. By “really old” I mean since they were kids. Dougie insisted he was only 27. Lyn hadn’t realised there was a choice of dessert and had happily accepted the profiteroles. She remarked that if she’d known roulade was on offer she would have chosen that. Dougie proceeded to wind her up, making noises over his roulade, looking at Lyn and saying it was the “best roulade he’d ever tasted”. Lyn rose to the bait, in fun of course, and told him not to be mean, which only made him taunt her more! When he’d finished, Dougie hid his dish and called a waitress over saying he’d not had any dessert. As she walked away saying she’d get him one he called out that Lyn hadn’t had one either, so I quickly hid her dish inside the guy’s next to her. At this point, I was still under the impression there might be plenty of desserts to go around. Lyn was a little embarrassed but she was really looking forward to sampling the roulade. When the desserts came up the waitress put the last remaining roulade in front of Dougie and the last remaining profiteroles in front of Lyn, much to everyone’s amusement. Lyn pretended to be upset and Dougie did the gentlemanly thing and swapped desserts with her. She said he would be known as “Two Puddings Dougie” from then on. Unfortunately for the two tricksters, the Catering Manager came over to the table to apologise. Not wanting to get the staff into trouble, they had to come clean. It was all taken in good part, but it did remind me a lot of school dinners for some reason. I’ve not had as much fun at mealtime in a long time!
.... continued Part 3 ....
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