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You get to know somebody on a dating site.
E-mails rush back and forth....
You start having feelings for..... a profile...  
You find out that the other person shares your feelings...  
And then.... there is the distance...  
You cannot easily meet the other person,
so you say that you'll keep writing,
and will call on the phone,
and then.... "see where it'll go...."
Often it doesn't go any place, because...
YOU ARE NOT REAL...
Your wonnabe partner is not real
Your relationship is not real
In real life, you have seen the person,
you have heard his/her voice, the tone when s/he talks,
you have seen the light in his/her eyes (or the absence of it)
you know where s/he belongs (family, friend circle, hang-outs, job...)
you feel if you can trust (or if you can at least try to trust)
you have reasons to trust
you not only know him/her, but his/her context
But on-line.... you know nothing 
you must trust with all your senses shut down
you have nothing to build on other than blind faith and a bunch of pretty words...
When the computer is off
or the other person is off-line,
or s/he does not "show up" on-line one day when you expected him/her to be there, 
you have no clue whatsoever of what happened
and where s/he might be or do....
You don't know who they really are,
you don't know their context.
It is very hard to date on-line, if you are looking for a real date in the real world.
It is not impossible, but it needs a lot of openness, kindness, patience and trust from both.
And... it needs SOMEthing  to get over the distance gap....
.
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| Why is Internet Dating so darn difficult....? |
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scorpiogirl36
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Sep 28 @ 5:24PM
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On-line relationships can undoubtedly be exasperating and there's some issues to work through... but it can work. 
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BionicCouple
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Sep 28 @ 6:00PM
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For me, internet relationships always began with emails, progressed to IM, then the telephone and then we'd meet. Unfortunately, Deda and I don't have the luxury of the last option because we are 6000 miles apart. However, we speak to one another daily, and for hours on end, with the use of cam and calling on yahoo messenger, which is free. We see one another's expressions, we laugh and cry together, we get to be totally ourselves - we even have dates where I wear something nice, get some wine in, he plays his guitar and sings to me. We show one another photographs of where we live, he watches me shouting at my kids and he chats to them too, I watch at work in the book store and he's introduced me to his friends.
It's not always easy and sometimes it's heartbreaking, but when you find the right person it's worth putting in the work. We'd both rather have a crap night in together than a great night out with friends, that's how it should be when you're in love. As for being "real life" - Just because we're not standing in front of one another holding hands and breathing the same air doesn't mean we don't exist - our feelings are very real and we're still the same people on line that we are in person. I know some people are fake or don't really know what they want, but that becomes obviously fairly quickly. There are genuine people on line too, you just have to sort the wheat from the chaff.
I don't think it's any harder to form relationships on line than it is when you meet by chance in person as long as your instincts are good and you're both totally honest. People you meet in person are just as likely to be married, unreliable, liars, cheats as those on line - or could equally turn out to be the love of your life.
What makes it really difficult on line is the distance. However, it's that very thing that is the deciding factor between whether it's love or merely an infatuation. If you want something enough, it has to happen, it's the law of attraction! The most important key, however, is patience, because a long distance, on line relationship is a very big test.
Don't give up! Angel 
Deda here,
I totaly understand what you're saying and I have had some goofy encounters with people here. But it's unfair to us who actually form genuine bonds and actually try to put our lives together to build a lasting "real life" relationship, to say it's totally unreal. Angel and I have spent 4 to 12, sometimes 15 hours each and every day on webcam, chatting, since we met, with the exception of the 3 days I was flying to London to meet her, and back, when they said I didn't have all the correct documents. We know damn near everything we can know about each other without the sense of touch, taste or smell. We are persevering and diligently working on being together, This is VERY real for us! Thank you. 
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LipGlossQueen9
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Sep 28 @ 6:10PM
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Well, BionicCouple said it all. 
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jamminjerry
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Sep 28 @ 6:15PM
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even at 58 years old, i am still blind. even after being played several times, i am still blind. hope springs eternal. if not for hope i would cease to exist. without hope i would become another sheep, another simple simon pulling the left or right handle. it is easy to give up, to just quit and drown myself in alcohol or drugs. but i am a fighter, instead of departing in a hail of glory yea rather i shall depart in a hail of bullets. "i am the last of the lone rangers, the last of the robin hoods, giving up never was easy for us do-goods" we be jammin
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MrPaul
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Sep 28 @ 6:23PM
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 Hey your not  not not looking  Wish I had all the answers my life would be fuller and there would be a beautiful lady beside me But I dont. But in the meantime we enjoy all our wonderful friends here in blog land 
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Cruisenite
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Sep 28 @ 7:17PM
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I think for me, the hardest part of online dating is the sifting thru the riffraff to get to the genuine person. Sometimes it is very easy to identify the players/scammers, but other times very difficult.
Don't give up, trying is half the fun or at least it can be! 
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painter007
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Sep 29 @ 1:43AM
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I have met some wonderful men in person who lived far from me....but for one reason or another it just didnt work out...but I didnt give up hope....and I have finally met one whom I care for very deeply....and we are making it work....
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