Smoke & Mirrors posted 10/1/2008 12:06:39 PM | 8 kudos what's this?     report abuse

missliss78

This is a personal account I need to set down as a reminder to myself again, to be careful of whom I trust & befriend on the internet. I’m sure it’s boring at best to anyone else, but it’s something I needed to put down & get off my chest. So, if you don’t care to be bored or if you feel the need to hurl negatives at me….well, I’m not really in the mood for it today.

For as many years as I've been on the internet & participating in chat rooms or other forms of social networks on the web, I've met many, many wonderful people. As anyone else may attest, as well, I've met many, many weirdos....strange people, mean people, hypocritical people, outright liars...you name it.

I had a "guy" friend I'd made on line and we maintained some sort of relationship or communication for many years. Over time, I realized this person brought way too much drama into my life & that he wasn't always honest or forthcoming & the best thing I could do was step back. He became what I refer to as a "toxic person" and as we all know, toxicity is dangerous.

It was some time later that this woman came along. She's been on the internet as long as I've been and then some, I am sure. She's been dying for a number of years now. Smoke & mirrors...aren't we all dying? She's been preying on peoples’ sympathy for ages.....we've all seen this happen time & again. But she contacted me out of the blue with the inquiry "Aren't you one of xxx's friends?" Well, yes, of course, I was.

I fell for the act. She was so pitiful….so sick, so heart broken, so naive. I befriended her. Yeah, I got suckered in. I'm so gullible some times. We had lengthy chats...each relaying to the other tidbits of the past with knowing xxx. She whined about him, his life, his knowing me & it seeming to her that he & I had so much more between us than she'd ever had with him. It was difficult going through these conversations over & over & over, but I did it....honestly, I felt sorry for her. And silly me, I thought that by relaying my pain to her, she'd somehow not feel so alone & feel better.

Fast forward to last fall. I took a nice trip 'cross country to meet a girlfriend over in southern Illinois that I'd met here through MD. I attempted to make arrangements to meet other people along the way, as well. I did stop over in Knoxville on my way out to meet one girl I'd known from here for years. It was a nice visit & the next day I was on my way. And I passed the exits for the town that xxx lived in. And my heart broke.

Despite having separated myself from the friendship with him, I felt horrible that I was right there by him & we'd never as much as face each other to say hello. But there was no option. I drove on. And when I got to Illinois, I felt awful & attempted to contact him. For the week I was in Illinois, we stayed in touch & discussed meeting when I came back through Knoxville on my way home. Mean time, however, I am told all about conversations with the dying woman & how she'd shared our conversations...well, MY side of the conversations. She broke my confidence. She betrayed my friendship. She'd actually gone as far as to "warn" him that I was going to try to "play" him. Can you imagine, missliss taking the time to "play" someone? I wouldn't even know how!

At any rate, xxx & I met on my return trip home. I stayed the night in Knoxville & we had a nice evening together. Contact resumed & everything was fine. I'd decided this woman had some real issues beyond that she was "dying." She was also a hypocrite & not trustworthy & the best thing I could do was never to have any contact with her again. And so it was.

Fast forward again to yesterday. Out of the blue, I get an email from her...full of niceties inquiring how I am doing & what is going on in my life & where in the world is xxx & what's going on with him. I could not believe it! The audacity of this woman! After what she had done to attempt to contact me again like this! I was shocked.

I started to ignore the contact…but I couldn’t. I had to respond & I let her know straight up that due to my friendship & confidentiality being betrayed previously that I had no desire to communicate with her & share any of my knowledge or life with her any manner whatsoever. I’m sorry, I can’t let an opportunity slide by me like that. I just can’t. Maybe to react is not the way to handle such situations; I don’t know….but I couldn’t sit back & let this person think what she’d done was okay.

Of course, she isn’t that type either….and she has returned the volley to me….hurling the accusations at me, protesting her innocence…….smoke & mirrors. Yeah, I wrote a blog just recently entitled
"I made a friend one time..." about dealing with just this sort of person. Here again, it’s all about red flags & paying attention & not getting suckered into a relationship or friendship that your gut tells you to back away from.

It’s hard in the “real world” some times to tell who is being honest & forthcoming with you. It’s even harder here on the internet. The bottom line is always trust your gut. ALWAYS…..as the ‘net is full of smoke & mirrors.

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Blogs by missliss78: It’s a Shame & Other Classic Idioms Tornadoes A New Phenomenon* "Stop Taking The BAIT" Shaking my head..... My Gimp Foot update.... Have you ever..... Opinions are like...well, you know the saying... Smoke & Mirrors MISQuotes of Obama Class Reunions It's interesting..... I made a friend one time.... What a JOKE! Picking & Choosing....... My Poor Aching FOOT! My Last Father's Day....... Leading up to Father's Day...... Pondering......... Hmmmm....If ya don't like it...... VERY Interesting...... The Triumph and the Tragedy...... Update on Article of Interest Mind Your OWN Business! I read this article today.....