The Man Rules posted 10/2/2008 11:53:12 AM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: man, rules, humor

kywonder

Ok, my men friends, here is one just for you.









---------------------THE MAN RULES----­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­----------------------
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note.. These are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
Or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

Blogs by kywonder: CALL ON ME.......... 1/2 Boy.............................1/2 Man McCain and Obama .........and the barber chair Snotty Receptionist.............................for those of mature age Marriage is.....................Part 1 Why I missed work yesterday Why Rules for the Non Civiilan The Cop and the Biker The Beauty of Jokes Beware of who you ride next to on a train Ten Reasons The Man Rules The Three Little Pigs I am the girl Have a Happy Hump Day Be Careful What You Say A Very Faithful Woman A benefit of Viagra All I can say A new take on the Lord's Prayer Love vs Like Working with the public Beware of fishing!!! Charity starts at home