On returning to this site I noticed there are only one or two people left here who I used to read and enjoy. One who never, ever changed the whole time was Teddy. She must be one of life's good people because everything that is good shines through her words.
I don't know what has been going on here in my absence, but I suspect it's simply more of the same. Whatever it was prompted Teddy to write in the forums about looking at ourselves in the mirror.
I read today that the Dalai Lama didn't understand the concept of low self esteem when it was mentioned to him in a meeting back in 1990. Although his English is good it had to be explained to him several times before he understood what it was about. It seems Tibetan people, despite all their hardship don't have such a thing as low self esteem. This must be to do with their upbringing and practices, which many Western people are looking at these days, and not surprisingly!
During my time on Matchdoctor and various other date sites, throughout ups and downs of dating I learned to accept a compliment for what it was. Just because someone tells you you're beautiful but they don't stay with you doesn't mean you're not beautiful. Just because someone tells you you're the ideal woman and doesn't stay with you, doesn't mean you aren't. Why are we all so quick to accept the negative stuff people tell us but so reluctant to accept the good? Why is it okay to admit to people we're nothing but not acceptable to admit we're beautiful, adorable and loveable?
I don't know how it happened, but I guess although the majority of men I met via the internet weren't the one I was supposed to meet, they all had qualities that drew me to them and I'd learned to trust myself and my own judgement. I learned to spot the ones who were telling me what they thought I wanted to hear and the ones who genuinely meant it. These guys forced me to take a look at myself in a different light. I realised I couldn't be what the magazines and television say us women should be, I could only be myself. More importantly, I realised there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. It took about a year but eventually I could honestly look in a mirror and be happy with what I saw.
Of course I know what Teddy's talking about goes much deeper than the physical. She's asking if we like what we see deep down inside. On that score I'll say I don't always, but I do have the capacity to look at what I don't like and do my best to change it. None of us can be seen to be good all the time, everything has it's equal and opposite side. Without negative, positive wouldn't exist. Without darkness there wouldn't be light. It's important to be all things but to recognise the benefits of each. Negative stuff often drives us forward. Without it, we'd sit in our comfort zone and never experience new things. Positive stuff makes us feel good about ourselves and others and multiplies very quickly. It's all good!
However, getting stuck in something gets us nowhere. Hearing ourselves spouting the same argument over and over, wasting our energy on people with opinions that with never change is debilitating and futile. Even by voicing our objections we're simply feeding them, helping them to grow and gain confidence in their negativity. Surely it's better to ignore and move on, concentrate our energies and attention on people and things that interest and inspire us!
Angel has spoken.... thank you for listening! 
Thanks Teddy for your continued inspiration! 
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