I recently went to spend 5 weeks with a woman I dated back in high school. We found each other again in March and wanted to see if we could be a couple again.
I was there from August 6 until September 11. During the first two weeks there, she had 3 notices of late rent, or a bounced check, and the electricity was shut off for part of a day. Each occurance came an explanation of how someone messed up and didn't process her payment correctly. I was never allowed to go with her to the apartment office while she "cleared this up", but each time was assured that the mistake was fixed. When September's rent came due, here came the late notices again, but this time with a "Notice to Evict" because this was the second time her rent payment had bounced. She went back to the office and said everything was taken care of, they hadn't processed her online payment, again! Apparently, for the last 3 months, several bills had been late because the online payments weren't properly credited. I've been paying all of my bills online for 5 months and I've never had one bill not properly credited.
About this time I went to my suitcase to get some extra cash out that I had stashed in there. 5 $100 bills in one of those metal cigarette cases...... The case was gone! I searched for days, tearing everything apart trying to figure out what I had done with the money. No luck.
After some more intense searching, the empty case was discovered, in her purse, in the zippered compartment at the back of the purse. She swears, even now, that she knows nothing about it, and has no idea how the case got there. She even swears she didn't remember that her purse had a zippered compartment in the back! One of her sons (20 yrs old) was staying there, jobless for the last several months, but I can't see him taking the money, only to hide the "evidence" in his Mom's purse.
Ladies? Do you know whether your purse has a zippered compartment in the back of it? If you just switched everything into a different purse from your collection just a few days ago, do you know what you put in your purse?
Trust is gone. Faith in her honesty with me is gone. I packed my stuff and came home, relationship is over, but she still wants to be friends. I'm still confused, and have no other "evidence" that where the empty case was found. She promises she'll pay me back, since it disappeared at her house, but still claims total innocence!
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| Ladies, how well do you know your purse? |
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renewmyspirit
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Oct 4 @ 10:40PM
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What is your "gut" telling you? I think you saw a BUNCH of RED FLAGS.... 
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hoftner
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Oct 4 @ 10:45PM
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Sry ,Dude....RUN!!
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ohtayicu
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Oct 4 @ 10:47PM
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looked at your profile and see that you are 48 and on disability retirement.
in your blog you didn't say what your old "high school flame," did for a living. if she isn't working, and didn't rationally explain her source of income,,, i'd wonder if she was looking for a new "billpayer." she seems to have cash flow problems. thought once a bill was set to be paid online (i don't use this feature)--- it was automatically set up to run indefinitely. don't think i'd consider her "datable," because i don't think i'd ever be able to trust her.
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goatman
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Oct 4 @ 10:52PM
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She's a Senior Administrative Secretary for a large elevator company, and earns over twice what I receive on my disability. If I asked for "evidence" on how things were paid, her answer is "I don't have to prove anything to anybody". I did take this as a red flag, and there's no way I would trust her again. Fortunately, I was about to sell my place and move her direction, so I could have been out much more in the future.
Before I left to visit her, I asked God for guidance, and if this wasn't to be, make it clear to this lovestruck guy. I'd say it was pretty clear!
As the saying goes: "I just want to be loved, is that sooo wrong?"
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butterfly943
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Oct 4 @ 11:03PM
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How sad  and for being friends...that wouldnt stop her for what shes already done..im sure she would do it again
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hpylady
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Oct 4 @ 11:03PM
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You are so lucky you had a place to come home to .. that is a bad situation .. they say the more money you make the more money you spend and she prob spends it .. I could see her asking you to help but taking your money is not good .. AND I have seen kids set their mothers up like that .. either way it's not a good place for you to be... as they also say I think you dodged a bullet there . 
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missliss78
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Oct 4 @ 11:04PM
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"I just want to be loved, is that sooo wrong?"
There's nothing wrong with that at all. I am sure most of us here feel that way.
But let me say...I know my purse very well. I am full aware of every nook & cranny available to me in it.
I say you received God's guidance just as you asked & if you choose to ignore all of the red flags placed at your feet & your gut instincts, you are due what you get.....
To think you were willing & ready to give up your home....wow....Sounds like you got a quick lesson to proceed with caution. I can say it would be a cold day in hell for me to be friends with this person again.
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daisy315
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Oct 5 @ 12:10AM
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That woman is NOT your friend.. 
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ragtopcookie
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Oct 5 @ 12:16AM
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Its sad to want to be with somebody so bad......that you overlook the obvious......no comment here......dont need one.......cookie
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kywonder
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Oct 5 @ 12:31AM
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Who knows why people do what they do. Maybe her son was on drugs and using his mother's money. I saw my brother do it to mom and bounced checks on her left and right. Being a mother, she would pay them. It was several years before he would straighten his act up and become the son she could be proud of .
I know all the compartments in my purse, and so does every other woman. I would say that you were lucky that you only got taken for $500. Consider it a gift to her and forgive her and watch God give it back to you, pressed down, shaken together and running over. The key is forgive and bless her and go on.
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travelwoman
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Oct 5 @ 12:49AM
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Ladies? Do you know whether your purse has a zippered compartment in the back of it? If you just switched everything into a different purse from your collection just a few days ago, do you know what you put in your purse?
Of course we know.... Every woman knows....
I'm still confused, and have no other "evidence" that where the empty case was found.
What other evidence do you want or need???
Bluntly: you won't see the money ever again because she's a notorious liar. If you don't want to live through more disappointments.... RUN.... Don't keep any contact with her (because she will try to keep things going.... telling you every so often that she'll pay you back, etc. bla-bla-bla....)
Learn your lesson: .... LET HER GO....
You can find much better...
Courage! 
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simplegal873
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Oct 5 @ 7:20AM
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I've been told that my purse could easily be considered a lethal weapon. God only knows what anyone would find in it.. pockets and side compartments? Yeah, even though I know they are there don't expect me to know what all is in it. Periodically I actually do attempt to lighten the load and clean it out but literally within a day or so, its back to its heavy, bulging, shoulder crushing, condition.
Well, I sure hope your friend didn't steal the money, and yes I know people who have overgrown delinquents who would not bat an eye to filch something that did not belong to them.
Good luck to you.
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jamie63
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Oct 5 @ 8:22AM
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I know exactly what is in my purse as well.
I'm sorry that this happened to you, but I also agree with the other ladies....RUN.....don't look back!!!
I also pay bills online and have never had a problem with them "not posting correctly".
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SpiritEnergy
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Oct 5 @ 9:01PM
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I am not saying she did not take the money but I have no clue what all is in my purse AND I have had many instances especially from one company on bills not going thru online. Sam's Club was terrible. Late at night, they must have had the network down because I paid the same bill twice and did a change of address THREE times to no avail.
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goatman
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Oct 20 @ 12:13PM
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Update:
Payment 2 has been received, and she still claims she knows nothing about how
the notorious cigarette case got there. There was also a loan besides the $500 and
so far, the payments are coming in as promised.
It's still a huge mystery, but I'm starting to lean towards the kid in the house......
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