Is different somehow.
I realize there won't be that blinding sunlight of summertime for awhile. When did I know it had changed?
Autumn is such a beautiful, tranquil time. But...perhaps I stopped noticing it because of how sick my father is.
I DO notice the shine of the hardwood floors in his hospice room, the crispness of the linens, and the varying brilliance of the light surrounding him.
Yesterday I took him a Sonic malt, and half a ham salad sandwich. He sat right up and ate. He won't eat for them. He is trying so hard to show us he needs to be home. He WANTS to enjoy his life his way. And his life is brilliant and beautiful....whether it's for a month or a year.
Yesterday was the first time I really saw the beauty of the leaves changing.
Enjoy your family with all you've got...
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Blogs by Loreli:
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Snappygoddess
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Oct 5 @ 10:56AM
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My wish for your father is that he gets to go home and live his life out in peace as he wishes.
My prayers to you and your family that you have the strength to endure throughout this tough time.
 
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ColdinWisconsin
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Oct 5 @ 10:56AM
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Sometimes it is in the stillness of time that we see the real beauty of life.
Use these moments, wallow in them. Smell the crisp cool smell of change. Not something to fear, but something to be in awe of.
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lazareth
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Oct 5 @ 11:01AM
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awww loreli.....
Been there. Some things are so crystal clear while others are so dim and in the back ground.
While my dad was sick I pretty much stayed in a fog about my surroundings except when it included my dad in spite of our past differences.
All I can say is ... allow your Dad to have as much dignity as possible....
Prayers from me ......
laz
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jamie63
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Oct 5 @ 11:07AM
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Often our loved ones need our permission to go home. They need to know that their family will be Ok.
Prayers and blessings to you and your family.
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newpatches
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Oct 5 @ 11:12AM
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Life is all about change. The trick is to find the beauty among the shadows. It sounds as though you are doing so.
There are some changes that are so painful yet with time the eyes of your heart will look back on precious memories and there you will also find beauty.
In between, you find will find the beauty of the strength within you to travel a hard road. Trust your heart. Tears bring healing. There's beauty in that light that surrounds your father...it's there for assurance and comfort.
I pray your father will be able to go home for the time he has left. He too knows the beauty of being where his heart is.
My prayers are with you both.
Patches
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mailorderannie
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Oct 5 @ 11:15AM
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Aw Lor
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jentoblues101
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Oct 5 @ 11:18AM
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I was my grandmother's primary care giver as she died of breast cancer in 2000. It was a heartrending experience, and I'm honored today to have been given a part in both her life, and her death.
My thoughts are with you.
~Jen~
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kywonder
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Oct 5 @ 11:27AM
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Family.........Parents.................... What a blessing they are to us!............Why I realize not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents, I also know that there are some who were and the legacy that they leave you can not be purchased with money. Cherish them, yes cherish them. They may be the greatest blessing that you will ever have.
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butterfly943
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Oct 5 @ 11:29AM
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Sometimes the beauty comes out of sadness.....God Bless you and yours...
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chek1678
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Oct 5 @ 11:38AM
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As I read all of the comments, I surely have to agree and could not have expressed my thoughts and feeling any better. My heart be with you all.
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MrPaul
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Oct 5 @ 11:52AM
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 Our prayers are with you and your family. God bless, Paul
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CHARLIgurl1
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Oct 5 @ 12:35PM
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Families are so precious... yes, enjoy them while they are still here.
Blessings my freind.
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keeno
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Oct 5 @ 1:11PM
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sending up prayers for you and your dad, may you both enjoy the days to come, together
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teddybearagain
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Oct 5 @ 1:50PM
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These folks, friends, here on MD; the comment's they've posted prior to mine tells us that we here are also your family, just an extended version of it. There are some awesome posts prior to mine.
I too want to encourage you to make the decision that this experience in your life will be one of the best, believe it or not. From this you will grow and find more of life inside of you.
Many blessings to you and yours
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missliss78
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Oct 5 @ 4:07PM
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Loreli, What a beautiful blog you wrote.
I'm so sorry that your father is so ill.
As everyone has said before, cherish him the best you can in these moments....
they will become a part of the memories that sustain you.
I know....I remember.
Big hugs, love & prayers are with you.
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daisy315
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Oct 5 @ 7:48PM
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Beautiful blog Lor..
like so many others said.. keep making those memories.. they will sustain you when this is over.
Like Jen, I was my aunts and my grandmothers primary caregiver in the end.. My Aunt Audie's was the hardest to deal with .. but I wouldn't change that time with her for anything..
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SpiritEnergy
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Oct 5 @ 9:10PM
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Ah, Lor, I know what you mean. Hard to see the world when you are fighting with your mind. And I was so caught up in the what ifs, ect during the health deterioration of Mom and Stepdad.
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signme
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Oct 5 @ 9:47PM
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Lori thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this tough time. Make the most of the time you have left with your dad.
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Laidback742
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Oct 6 @ 6:43AM
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I lost my stepfather in 2004 to cancer, and watching his progress the last 2 years was extremely hard .... knowing what was to come made us appreciate and respect the man even more than we already did.
You know our thoughts are with you .....
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sensuouswoman
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Oct 6 @ 7:51AM
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Lor.......sorry to hear about your father's illness. You are a brave strong woman. I remember when my father was in the hospital I went to see him once but that was all I could handle. May the creator walk with you and your family in your time of need!
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fenderchick
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Oct 6 @ 8:24AM
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Aw...
I hope he get to come home soon.
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misschief
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Oct 6 @ 8:06PM
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~*~
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kattsmeow
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Oct 6 @ 11:28PM
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Some where I have a poem ( maybe in a blog) about when my mother left us in late September. Bless you and your family Loreli!
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ceecee1952
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Oct 6 @ 11:50PM
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thank-you for sharing and reminding us of priorities..
all the best,
cc
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1stsignofspring
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Oct 9 @ 11:48PM
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Sometimes we forget that life is but a "vapor", but having the opportunity to spend some more time with your father here on this earth is a real blessing......squeeze every drop out of it you can....live with no regrets....love.... and speak what's on your mind today, for tommorow is not promised......
I pray for you and your family's strength in the difficult days ahead....
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pamdemonium
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Oct 10 @ 12:46AM
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In an instant, everything can change....so it's important to enjoy the here and now.
And love like there's no tomorrow. Because sometimes, there's only today.....You're in my thoughts, Lori...as is your dad.
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Heaveninawildflower
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Oct 10 @ 10:10AM
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Lor...
On October 15th it will have been 36 years since I lost my dad - the curse of being a late life child. You're right, cherish the time you have together - no matter how long or short it is, it never seems to be enough.
Take care of yourself, and know that there are people thinking of you...
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Tunes4u
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Oct 10 @ 12:27PM
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My thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours..........
Beautiful post....beautiful comments....
Thomas
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Moonwalk
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Oct 12 @ 12:34AM
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Loreli,
my thoughts to you and yours.
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