Learning to Dance in the Rain... posted 10/8/2008 7:12:36 PM | 5 kudos what's this?     report abuse

CrackerJackPat

perhaps it's just time to get a few new moves.

I have a couple of guy friends who seem to have given up on finding a good relationship. Often it comes down to women wanting them to change. It's not only men, but women as well. It's not only men and women, it is even sometimes me as well.

Good looks and the fear of lacking in that area is probably the largest single cause for person to feel hopeless in finding a good relationship. Hollywood, TV, magazines, all full of perfect people. Perfect shape, perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect scent, perfect jobs, perfect cars. I don't know about everyone else, but more than once I've gotten caught up in the fear of not being quite good enough.

Age may play a part of it, following the thought that if a woman isn't married by 40, she ain't never gonna get married. I'm wondering what the next “hopeless age” might be... 60? No, I'm no going to buy into that. There are plenty of men and women who find a great spouse after 60.

Less than perfect health tends to creep up on people right along with that age factor. Unlike age, however, which effects all of us, health issues may effect some, not others, and/or in varying degrees. A person may come home from the war with a missing limb. A disease may appear out of nowhere at a relatively early adult age requiring limited activity, special diet, or special attention. A body that's taken a beating for any reason. Then there are energy levels. Unless we're right out there with Lance Armstrong, or Dancing with the Stars at 80, we may wonder how on earth we, of all people, could ever compete in ever again finding a mate.

Now then... why does any of this matter at all. Love is not about good looks, age, perfect health, etc. No, but love generally leads to the “s” word, and all of the above factors into the “s” word. (That would be sex.) I have a friend who has stated, if it (sex) can't be the way it was when he was younger; full of vim and vinegar 24/7, swinging from the rafters with Burt Lancaster, well then, he's just not gonna put himself out there. He knows his limitations. (I lie sometimes, just a little bit, to enhance a story, stretch the truth a tad perhaps.)

Like him, some people just give up - singing It don't matter to me. Some become hermits. Some hide behind false pretenses. I may do a little bit of each from time to time.

However, yesterday as I was feeling sorry for myself that I can't dance with the fervor that I used to, it dawned on me. Perhaps all I need to do is get a new dance step. Change a few moves. Some that aren't quite as strenuous. The old cliche about there being more than one way to skin a cat. I know “change” is a scary word for most. I've been known to be an “all or nothing” person myself, but hey... why do without if we can make a few adjustments that may afford similar and/or perhaps more pleasures in life?

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Blogs by CrackerJackPat: Hair for the Holidays.... Old Friends, New Friends & Friend Requests It's Halloween Week ! Come On-A, Come On-A My House... What a Difference a Day Makes... A Change in Attitute... The Fuller Brush Man Learning to Dance in the Rain... .... But I have an addendum ! LEGGO - A- MA- EGO A Walk in the Rain Saturday Night Fever My first encounter with "sex".... There's a New Day Comin'.... Had to comb my hair today.... I never cease to be amazed... Boogie Thru Life One Step at a Time Doing Better It just hurts to move right now On having a different perspective... New Request But by the Grace of God The Mark of a Great Surgeon All Things Great & Small... This can't be me....