Clearing my Mind in the--Rain-- posted 10/8/2008 7:33:33 PM | 5 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: rain

butterfly943

From as far back as I can remember I have always loved when it rains...unlike my Mother who just cant stand a rainy day. I love walking in the rain or just sitting outside and closing my eyes and just listening to it, but today it has rained most of the day and I was feeling caged up sitting inside so I decided to go for a walk. Its not raining hard just a steady drizzle but as I walked I started thinking about my life and the lessons I'm being taught dragging and kicking all the way. My life is anything but average I lost my house of 26 years with only 6 thousand dollars left owing because I got behind on bills, I was in school and trying to work while taking care of 3 of my Grandchildren..I don't regret this ..looking back now it was a very special ans wonderful time for me..hard? you bet it was..one of the hardest yet rewarding time in my life. After losing my home and when the grandkids went back to their parents after 6 years I moved into a beautiful apartment took my income tax money and bought things that I had wanted but was worried spending the money on ..I shopped in thrift stores, yard sales anywhere really until I had it just right. I loved it there because it was upstairs and had a wonderful balcony with a beautiful view and it was surrounded by oak trees. I was very happy there, then I came to SC after my mom called saying how sick my brother Joe was, so I packed up the car of a friend with me, my dog Benji and my bird Gator and we headed to SC for just a visit. Joe wasnt going to get better so I decided to try to get out of my lease but wasn't able to so I broke it and moved here. Also something I will never regret. I kept walking today and just reflecting on things that have happened to me and I can now see that everything truly does have a purpose. Even though I lost everything other then what would fit in a car, I gained so much I was able to be there for my Grandkids..spend time helping my brother and loving him for the man he was...and finding out that everything I lost could one day be replaced, but my brothers time could never be..nor the time spent taking care of my grandkids. No one is responsible for my happiness or sadness except me and only me. I never want to be a closed minded person unwilling to take chances of any kind, but don't take my kindness as a sign of weakness I am not a weak person, I do have weak moments like everyone else does. I am a strong woman with a gentle soul, I will stand beside you and help you if asked. So I found out why I love the rain..You can cry as hard as you want no one knows, they just think its rain drops..you can put your arms around yourself and hug tight..people will just think your cold..you can take deep relaxing slow breaths smelling the damp earth..and you can see the beauty in everything around you..and know your never alone

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Blogs by butterfly943: ~~~~~~~~~~Faith~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~Questions~~~~~~~~~~ `~~~~~~Living Lake~~~~~~ ----------Lessons Taught and Me taking the time to learn---------- ---Stuff Rolling around in My Head--- ------Dream------ ----The Bridge we must cross over---- -------Life------- The Perfect Man The Life Within Journey of Life Unwanted---or Unable to care for Clearing my Mind in the--Rain-- The Question I ask myself is Why--only a Womans view Four Wheeling with my sweet Girls Poem------Footprints------ The Little Girl in the Thrift Shop Blond Men Joke Written For My Brother ( Joe ) by his Daughter Joke--Sorry but I had to do this A Beautiful New Day Smacked by Love Guidance--( Forwarded Email ) Understanding Feelings Joke--