Tonight, again, is Friday Night; As many may remember, this is the night I set aside, several months ago, for Pasta and Bad Movies. To explain, it's THE NIGHT, I prepare for, the other weekday days: I gather ingredients to make an imaginative bowl of pasta, then take it off to bed, with a portable DVD player and some bad romance or comedy, to watch. 
As I've not had anyone to share my 135yr old bed WITH, a burgundy body pillow, 4ft long, stretches the length of the wall side of the bed; feeling embarrassed that I have no love, I tend to stack this high, with all manner of DVDs and CDs and the telephone, in order to minimize the distress I feel. 
Tonight, though, I find myself, dreaming of THE ONE: As I've recently discovered that MEN do this too, it's time I wrote this tribute, for They That Are Our Universally Missed Loves. 
By "The One", I'm talking about the one man I'd do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING, AT ANY TIME, FOR & WITH. From what a male friend in Arkansas told me a few weeks ago, EVERY ADULT has someone like this, that they carry deep, in their hearts; Despite perfectly nice dates or attitudes of great patience or even great cynicism, there seems to be a quiet tolerance, even empathy and respect for the times in life when it's simply understood, that FOR A PARTICULAR FEW HOURS or MOMENTS, being alone in order to ponder The One is to be allowed and revered. 
In my case, The One is someone I have NEVER written or spoken IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN SILENT PRAYERS about; I've never said his name or nickname aloud, never been seen in public with, never talked about him, to girlfriends or therapists or holy leaders. The one I hold in this capacity simply is too precious to me, to stain, with what can only be my stupid little womanly inadequacies. 
I will own, this day, that, on this particular Friday Night, only HE is good enough. While I did reach out to him, communicatively, today, I got no response, and really don't expect one; I know he's a busy man, and my communique probably came, without warning or substance: Part of what I so treasure about him IS his values, and so, I honestly don't expect him to come running in devotion, to care for my yearning or whim. 
I love what I know of him, and I cope, Unashamed: While he may be illusive and perhaps, not trusting of me, at all, I'D MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH, change my appearance, leave my dog and my home like one, seeking asylum from danger and oppression, IF HE WERE TO SAY THE WORD, show up at my door, stop me on the street or at my mailbox or in my church parking lot. 
As the men I know all admit there's a woman they feel this same way about, I shall spend tonight, in Safety and Sadness;
Wherever he is, is just fine, with me: I adore him as he is, for WHO he is, and wouldn't want him, at my door, in my arms, monopolizing my bed or life UNLESS IT IS PART OF WHO HE WANTS TO BE. 
Love should be like this 
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
|
Blogs by QtrAcreGalSeeking:
|
|