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Blogs by ColdinWisconsin:
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ColdinWisconsin
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Oct 10 @ 10:20PM
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The next day we were to play outside, for a few hours at least. My father would be coming to get me soon so I wasted no time throwing some clothes on and going out exploring by myself. Both of the Trickle girls were still sleeping, but I knew there was seriously unexplored territory here. I snuck out of the house and slipped on my shoes outside the kitchen door. Their dog seemed thrilled to see me. The first thing I did was to head behind the huge red barn. All good things are never right in front of you, I have found they are always hidden, waiting for the tenacious to find them. And I was right. There in all their glory were three horses.
There is a peacefulness about being near horses, any large warm creature really, who isn’t all freaked out when the sun comes up. The sounds, the smells and I was captivated when the largest one, chocolate brown walk up and put it’s giant rubbery lips against my neck. Fear and awe. The appropriate emotions in that situation for a little girl. I had not a clue, still have no clue how to handle myself around a horse. They seem to like me for some reason. It appears to be me who can’t commit to a relationship with them.
The magical moments at this home, this property, these parents were soon to be over. I understood it was magical. I understood that I could not reciprocate to this giant of a friend. I knew instinctively that there were no works to describe what those 24 hours meant to me, and I knew better than to share them with anyone at home. The price to pay would have been astronomical.
Over the next 5-6 years I would spend much time in this home. With this woman, her children, her husband, which was also her world. I learned what breast cancer was and that passion and dignity cannot be moved. That some things can be counted on like the sun coming up in the morning. I learned that a woman can have it all. A job she loves, a wonderful home and a man who loved her. But I also learned about sacrifices. What it meant to weigh life's options and to throw the unworthy away.
I was eventually banned from visiting this home. Reminded by my own family of just where I belonged. And as the years passed by I found that I really didn't belong anywhere and decided to go about the business of finding my special place in this world. My own struggles ensued and became the center of my world. Only a teenager is able to be so utterly selfish to the degree where they can focus on themselves for great chunks of time.
Most here know the story of the death of the first man I ever loved. A life defining moment that came to me much to young. But shortly after that, a mere 6 months I would hear that Mrs. Trickle as well was in the hospital and fighting for her life, and I would begin my vigil once again. To lose my father and now the woman that I called my mother so quickly on the heels of that was just about more than my soul could take. And I would rub lotion on her body, whisper in the dark to her, talk about her garden, her life, the horses, her children. We never spoke of her husband. Ever. It was a taboo subject. A mysterious land where only the two of them tread.
And as I read out loud to her until my voice went horse one early evening Mr. Trickle walked in early from work. We stood in the hallway and whispered for a few moments, him asking me to call his children to come say goodbye. And he held me close for what seemed like forever, the best hugger I have ever know. Incredible man warmth until my head melted into his chest and my body allowed his to absorb my grief.
We walked back into that room and I watch a man, a real man, take off his suit coat and tie...kick off his shoes and go about his work of moving lines, tube and needles until he was able to crawl into bed next to his wife and wrap himself around her. And it was only then that I was able to weep.
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Etowah
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Oct 10 @ 10:38PM
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You should become a professional writer. You work is honest and full of humanity
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butterfly943
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Oct 10 @ 10:59PM
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It is so hard for me to make you understand how much this Blog you wrote is touching a place deep in my soul...I have never had many good memories of my childhood like the family you describe...and Ive never had a love like that..your words bring so many tears and emotions to me.. I had to stop and start reading again..all I can say is thank you meems ..you are such a gifted writer  
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unionman154
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Oct 10 @ 11:00PM
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Beautiful ~*~
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asnet
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Oct 10 @ 11:06PM
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Totally totally
beautiful beautiful.
Please don't become anything
other than what you already are.
Grow because we all grow.
But don't change.
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TroutFishing
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Oct 10 @ 11:33PM
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the total magic of a moment.
that is your secret - you totally capture the magic of a moment.
And that is what life is - magical moments cast throughout the rest of the
crap we all have to go through.
 
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keeno
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Oct 10 @ 11:33PM
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thank you for sharing meems, another excellent piece
~*~
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chek1678
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Oct 11 @ 12:12AM
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"meems", You are a very gifted writer. Once you start to read you must follow it's contents through to the end. You have the ability just reach out and touch so many lives with the written words, mine included. It is truly a pleasure to read and thank you for sharing.
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Borty
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Oct 11 @ 12:49AM
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I enjoyed your story ..chalk full of imagery ...particularly the horses. The best friend I've ever had was a horse named Jerry. I used to spend hours in the barn soaking up all her pure energy and that horse understood everything about me. Our job was to bring the milk cows in from the pasture and I had to be on my toes, becarse she would pull tricks on me. When she died ...I was devestated but I still carry her energy with me today and other horses pick up on it...something magical about horses...
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beanie68
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Oct 11 @ 1:12AM
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Very moving chica! 
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QtrAcreGalSeeking
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Oct 11 @ 3:04AM
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Thank you, for this; As I talk with men, in hopes of moving BEYOND their desire for a monogamous but thrilling sex life (as if it were a door to intimacy), I tell them the story OF MY GRANDMA LIL...... 
Lil came down with breast cancer; As she was in surgery for what WAS TO BE a lumpectomy, my Grandpa Ike downed a bottle of Scotch while writing a love letter. He told her that, even IF SHE DID have cancer, that, once out of the hospital, they would STILL come home, and ALWAYS have their NIGHTTIME ROUTINE. 
It was only in that letter that I realized that, for YEARS, after my Grandmother cooked dinner, she'd get a shower as he did the dishes; After both were done, they'd meet on the couch and watch a little tv. My Grandpa would take her outstretched legs and feet in his lap, slather them with scented oils and lotions....... 
They would go to bed EARLY, after what I now know was FOREPLAY. 
Grandma Lil died of breast and bone cancer, 21 yrs ago, and 6mos before I got sober. Every now and then, I WARN MEN that I want THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP THEY HAD.....  ..
Even to the point that, every morning they would pray together, in rocking chairs facing each other in the bay window facing South, as the sun lit the world and illuminated their love. 
We DO know what Love looks like, don't we?
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luvshorses644
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Oct 11 @ 7:48AM
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A love like Mr. & Mrs. Trickle had is what each of us long for. Thank you for bringing up some of my own memories about one of my best friends. You shared this moment and the feelings so warmly.
~*~
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Tunes4u
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Oct 11 @ 10:59AM
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Once again.....really nice.
Why is it ....when I read a story like this from you, all I can do when I am finished is wipe away my tears so I can see the keyboard, and say something stupid, like.." That;s really nice..."
xoxox
~*~
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Tiramisu4u
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Oct 11 @ 11:10AM
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Oh YEAHHHHHHHH..... 
Nothing more I can say....my heart is all warm and fuzzy....
This is what its all about....my tears thank you.....
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stickshiftsally
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Oct 11 @ 11:54AM
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You've written another beautiful blog! Thank you for sharing such a touching story. Now, would you please send me a case of tissues??
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SallyF
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Oct 11 @ 12:26PM
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You have a gift for zeroing in on what's important within the 'big picture'---thank you for sharing with us.
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oceanlover734
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Oct 11 @ 2:30PM
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This is so what I have missed. Your writing in a way that touches ones soul.I must say every space of my heart and soul has been touched. Tears flowing because I sense my own need for such a love. Thank you for sharing your gift. ~*~
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EternalFlame
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Oct 11 @ 3:17PM
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*heavy sigh*
~*~
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pamdemonium
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Oct 13 @ 7:47AM
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sloriver
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Oct 13 @ 9:27AM
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This is one of your very best. I'll print this one out and get you to sign it when I come to your first book signing.
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