I was just sittin' here thinkin' about all of the crap thats happenned to me over the last year and a half. Divorce, my house detroyed by my wife, everything I had has been stolen, not to mention all the things my beautiful girls have been through. even the good things have turned bad. For instance. I've met this wonderful girl that is all that, she's funny, she's beautiful, she's smart, she gets my twisted sense of humor, and for once I've met someone that makes me laugh for a change, she has the cutest litttle smile, they way she shakes her head when she answers yes and no , her eyes, man I love her eyes, I could loose myself in there forever. the kisses, I even had to write a blog about them, but, we are both seperated going through the divorce process, so we have to keep our urges and feelings on hold. Hopefully that will only assure that we have to take things slow and go one day at a time, but it still sucks none the less. I was wondering, what have I done to deserve all of this mess??? What have I done to deserve all of this bad luck (everything other than meeting her of course)??? Thats when it hit me. I got a flash back from that movie Unforgiven. You know the part where Gene Hackman is lying in the floor talkin' about "I don't deserve to die like this" ??? Yep! It's the next line that makes perfect sense. The part where Eastwood says "deserves got nothin' to do with it". Simple, yet true. Deserve doesn't know your name, your good deeds or even your current situation. It just picks the next sucker. Kinda like like jury duty. I never get picked for jury duty, maybe this is all just a way to make up for that. I'm gonna keep smillin', shrug off all the lies and rumors 'cause I know the truth, keep on kickin, keep on lovin' my girls, 'cause they are all that should matter in my life right now anyways, thats all I know to do. Statistics show I'm probably not gonna make it to sixty anyway, I've made it to far to give up now. So if you need to reach me by phone dial 1-800-stl-kikn.
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read more blogs!
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ragtopcookie
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Oct 18 @ 2:18AM
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Being a divorced man.....i do know what you are going thru......but like me...you got two things still going for you......first ...you have your kids...like i did......and second......once its all done.....youve unloaded one worthless bitch that you will never have to spend one more minute of your life ever living with her ever again.....think about it my friend......never again.......kind of puts it all into perspective........huh........hang in there......once its over ...its over.........cookie
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maggiemae684
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Oct 18 @ 2:18AM
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Believe in yourself....Trust in your beliefs.... 
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chevymn
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Oct 18 @ 2:21AM
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Thanks Cookie. You have helped me through a lot of this. You and your wisdom that is.
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summerbreeze916
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Oct 18 @ 2:23AM
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Cute, chevy. Hang in there!  Things are bound to get better for you.  By the way, I hope the 'next one' works out for you.........
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invisible1
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Oct 18 @ 5:38AM
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Hey chevy . . . I've often wondered throughout my life, why some people seem to have it so easy, nothing bad happening; and others (at times, me) seem to be in that constant 'when it rains it pours' storm.
But I think I've figured it out. The more it's storming on you, the more strength you have. Those that have it easy wouldn't survive even a light shower. You're a strong man & getting even stronger as the storms surround you. But soon that sun is gonna shine & your days will look spectacular!! 
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PrettyGreenEyes578
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Oct 18 @ 7:55AM
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Many of us have been through hell and back. Life is about choices and learning to make the wisest choices possible - think things through - weigh the pros and the cons - what long range effect will our choices have. We will not always know the exact end results, but we have an inner voice, and a huge mistake is not listening to our inner voice, and really paying attention to red flags. If we really listen and observe well enough, most people will tell us who he or she really is.
Experience is a great teacher if we choose to learn from our experiences.
Take things slow. Being alone is not the end of the world and is actually more peaceful than being with someone who will bring you grief.
You have two of the most beautiful little angels and you made it through everything so far with what is really important to you. Always think about how your choices may affect your two little girls.
When everything is shot to bits around us - it is the perfect time to rebuild wisely.
We really never can predict what another person will do, but we can nourish ourselves to be strong and be the best human being that we can be, and to think and act wisely in our own best interest.
I wish you much love and happiness!
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imlost2
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Oct 18 @ 9:16AM
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Some of you only "think" others have had it so easy and nothing ever happens. Maybe it's the way people handle things as they come. If you handle things as they come along and don't let them pile up until you have a big stack where you feel overwhelmed, it will be easier. It's like housework or yardwork or anything else, just do it as you go along. Then it seems like things run smoothly. At least that's what I try to do. Sometimes you have big tasks to tackle like cleaning the garage or something like that, but I usually try doing something during the week that's big and just try to not let things "pile" up whether it's in my head or in my house. tc Lost
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xoSweetAngelxo
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Oct 18 @ 9:45AM
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I have had moments like that where I wonder what I have done to deserve something... especially recently but I know I have not it was just something that happened. That line you said really does explain it perfectly very clearly deserve has nothing to do with it. I hope things get better for you, you and your daughters will be in my thoughts.
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gunn12fan
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Oct 18 @ 3:55PM
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Just hang in there brother life has a way of telling you things and lord knows You tried. were here for you
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