Is Enchantment Necessary for Real Love to Flourish? posted 10/20/2008 10:25:23 AM | 2 kudos what's this?     report abuse

Orion313

I have used the tern "enchantment" or " enchanting" before in relationships that I've had. It is something that quite wholly appeals to me, the idea of entering into another way of experiencing what is so very special and unique in a loving relationship.

What I have discovered through the years, though, is that people have very differing ideas about what it means to be enchanted by someone, or to find the state of love to be enchanting. Even etymologically it is confusing.

The word "enchant" was originally to have meant "to chant a spell upon: or to "sing upon," from Latin "incantare" and from Old French "enchanter," meaing "bewitch, charm." We don't like that so much any more, as it has the implication of bewitching or being bewitched, rendering us not quite in control of our own feelings. More modern meanings have "a great liking for something wonderful or unusual" or "that which captivates the heart and senses." That, at least, is better.

Clearly these effects are present in the feeling one has when one experiences real love. It feels like a spell being cast, either by the person being loved or by something outside of ourselves which seems to be minutely interested in our well-being and in making the love experience unforgettable. It has a palpably real feel, too, an airy kind of palpability, and is, at least for me, neary impossible to resist.

But how does that accord with "down-to-earth"ness?? I see a lot of down-to-earth here at MD, and though I've never been sure exactly what that is (perhaps because it is mostly absent from my personality), I suppose it means being realistic and not troubled by fancies or fantasies or dreams or airy ideas of romantic bliss.

I couldn't imagine a relationship that did not have elements of enchantment present--I don't think I'd ever be attracted in the first place. But I suppose that if down-to-earthness didn't work out so well, it would be common knowledge by now, and everyone would know that being enchanted would be the best way to go.

So here's the dilemna--I've avoided people in the past who talk up their down-to-earthness as if that''s the main thing and the guarantor of a successful and happy relationship. I'd always thought that enchantment was the way to go. But the ones I've been enchanted by in my life are no longer a part of it, and I have a feeling I've missed something dreadfully important. I'm not going to be able to change my personality, of course, and wouldn't anyway. But I'm wondering if being enchanted by someone, or enchanting them in return, is really a necessary part of what I seek, and we are all seeking.

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Blogs by Orion313: Thankfulness in this New Year Reading Carse and That Long Ago Football Championship Mr President My Teaching Philosophy Relationship Manifesto: A Lover's Promise, Part 2 Relationship Manifesto: A Lover's Promise, Part 1 Is Enchantment Necessary for Real Love to Flourish? Some O' These Here Blogs Chapter 2--Fiction Something Lighter--Maybe I Should Stick with Fiction Now I Know Why Is It So Hard? Rocking Worlds Brutal Honesty? Promises to Keep Baggage, Part 5 Baggage, Part 4 Baggage, Part 3 Baggage, Part 2 Baggage, Pt 1 The First Kiss Commitment or Possessiveness?