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LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY
Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot. Before the days of Dylan or the dawn of Camelot. There lived a race of innocents, they were you and me, long ago and far away in the Land of Sandra Dee.
Oh, there was truth and goodness in that land where we were born. Navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn. Ike was in the White House, and Hoss was on TV. God was in his heaven in the Land of Sandra Dee.
We longed for love and romance, and waited for the prince. Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since. We danced to "Little Darlin" and sang to "Stagger Lee" we cried for Buddy Holly in the Land of Sandra Dee.
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go. At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe. Youth was still eternal, our lives were yet to be. Elvis was forever in the Land of Sandra Dee.
We'd never heard of Microwaves or telephones in cars. Babies might be bottle-fed, but they sure weren't "grown" in jars. Pumping iron got wrinkles out. "Gay" meant fancy-free. Dorms were never coed in the Land of Sandra Dee.
We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag. Microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag. Hardware was a box of nails. Bytes came from a flea. Rocket ships were fiction in the Land of Sandra Dee.
We had no Crest with Fluoride. We had no Hill Street Blues. We all wore superstructure bras designed by Howard Hughes. We had no patterned pantyhose, no Lipton herbal tea. No prime-time ads for condoms in the Land of Sandra Dee.
There were no golden arches, no Perriers to chill. Our fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill. Middle-age was thirty-five, old was forty-three. Ancients were our parents in the Land of Sandra Dee.
But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say. Now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A. They send us invitations to join AARP. We've come a long way, baby, from the Land of Sandra Dee.
So now we face a brave new world In "slightly" larger jeans. We wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines. We tell our children's children of the way it used to be, long ago and far away in the Land of Sandra Dee.
Sandra Dee Click here
A Summer Place Click here
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