This weekend was hard on my dad. Seems there will always be those who only know to gossip and speak badly about someone. I dedicate this song to you... listen to the words of Nickelback, and you will get the idea of how words can hurt and stay:
This Is How You Remind Me
This is the first time for cremation in my family as mom was adamant against it before, but this was my brother’s wish and she is doing good honoring it. We had no idea how long it took to process the ashes. Friday morning, we will stand at my brother, David’s grave and open a small hole, they will then lower the marble vault containing the urn with Rick's ashes atop my brother’s coffin.
This weekend was a busy one with attempting to get my brother’s house ready for sale; we have plenty of things to fix. When he bought the house, it was in need of quite a few repairs, and he had such good intentions on doing all that was necessary. The first year, he worked hard and got the overgrown land surrounding the house in shape. He fixed the bedroom that was his and computer room and started on the bathroom; then, he got sick. What my brother did with his smoke and partying exacerbated his diabetes, causing his arteries to take the brunt of damage. The plaque built up in them, causing severe anemia and pancolitis (this is what took all his strength and weight away). That was the physical pain, not to mention what other things happened in his life. Rick did not handle these things well and let them eat away at him until nothing mattered anymore. To understand fully what happens when people just give up on living, you have to see what types of things they are willing to live with, or simply don’t care anymore about.
I spoke with the coroner on Saturday. She said that he had had two minor heart attacks before the myocardial infarction. She asked how he was handling the pain with the coronary arterial disease which is called Atherosclerosis. The most common cause of coronary artery disease is atherosclerosis. Atherosclerosis is a chronic, progressive disease of the arteries in which “plaques” made up of cholesterol deposits, calcium, and abnormal cells develop on the inner lining of the arteries. Heart disease is the leading cause of the death in the U.S. Over one quarter of all deaths are from heart disease. It is also a major cause of disability. The risk of heart disease increases as you age. You have a greater risk of heart disease if you are a man over age 45 or a woman over age 55. You also are at greater risk if you have a close family member who had heart disease at an early age and the pancoloitis. Pancolitis or universal colitis refers to inflammation affecting the entire colon (right colon, left colon, transverse colon and the rectum). Symptoms of pancolitis include bloody diarrhea, abdominal pain and cramps, weight loss, fatigue, fever, and night sweats. Some patients with pancolitis have low-grade inflammation and mild symptoms that respond readily to medications. Generally, however, patients with pancolitis suffer more severe disease and are more difficult to treat than those with more limited forms of ulcerative colitis.
If my brother had regular doctor visits, perhaps they might have been able to catch the arterial disease and maybe even noticed the 2 prior heart attacks. This is my request that each of you that read this, if you so choose, do everything possible to keep your joy of life alive and see the doctors regularly.
On Friday, I will pray that my brothers are united and free of any and all pain and what I will hold onto will be the good memories of Rick now... I have mine of David...
I was privileged enough to know my brother for 40 years... these will be my “happy” memories that will keep Rick in my heart:
* I held Rick only hours after he was born (I was 16 when he made his appearance in the family)
* I watched his firsts at everything... smiling, walking, talking, falling in love.
* I remember his shyness until he got to know you.
* I remember how many times he helped others.
* I remember how much he loved his great dane, Max.
* I remember his love of demolition and football derbys.
* I can still hear his laughter and see his smile when I close my eyes.
* I remember him as my ring bearer at my wedding.
* I remember him sitting on the deck of the 3rd floor fire escape at my first apartment in Scranton and talking to me about going to school.
* I remember his art work... I still have the first home-made Christmas card he made me, complete with cotton for Santa’s beard.
* I remember him falling asleep in my son, Dan’s, playpen when he stayed with us at Bear Creek.
* I remember teaching him to dance.
* I remember everyone thinking he was my child.
* I remember how much he loved fishing with my children.
* I remember how he worried about me after my divorce and always called to "check" on me.
My dad broke down in tears three times on Saturday. I looked at Rick’s house and I felt the pain he was in ... I saw how very little energy he had, and it broke my heart. I am hoping now that he is enjoying being reunited with his “big” brother. One day, I will join them and the clan will, once again, be the force to be reckoned with.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by luvshorses644:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Love Remembers... and so do I |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|