The Tranny Sisters, a True Story posted 10/28/2008 9:56:12 PM | 5 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: sky, fender

poeticcougar

Where has all the rum gone?

A long, long time ago in a city far, far away, lived a family of utmost peculiarity. A Blackfooted woman had just given birth to a daughter. Ah to bring home a little girl would bring such joy to the often cranky beer drinking doggy she called her man. What to call this delight? Being the Native way, they named the girl after the first thing they saw........ the neighbour woman She was the town floozy but only with the young men. Ah Cougz she became, the apple of her parents eyes.

Cougz was a handfull....constantly demanding attention, toys, chocolate, a new car.... her dream was to become a Demon Hunter but she needed.......a sibling! so Cougz did what all little girls do to get what they want, she batted her eyelashes at doggy and said "Can I have a sister, pweeeeeeeeeease?" Of course, being of the male species, he responded with "Go ask your mother." So Cougz did...and she cried and cried and cried until they gave in.

But alas!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was given a brother That will NEVER do...to hunt demons we MUST be of the same sex. So Cougz cried and cried and cried until doggy, being the good daddy that he is, said "We can just dress him up azza girl." So I did. I painted Fenderbender's nails in bright pink, put ponytails in his hair, gave him all my hand-me-downs ( shaving his legs to pulloff my cheerleading outfit is another story ) ah, the joys of having a sister

But then momma Feetz announced there'd be another baby to come and an ultrasound showed it WAS a girl whatever would I do with the brother I made a sister? I asked dad what I woudl have to do with Fenderbender now........ and he said "Cougz, do whatever ya want with him. Fars as anyone knows, he's your sister." So I kept up the charade. Especially AFTER the new baby was born. Man she was just too cute and frail and girly to be a demon hunter. That baby was such a Sweetheart that I couldn't do anything to change that.

So it came to pass that on my 16th birthday I took Fenderbender and we headed out to hunt our first demon. Ok so it was only the bastid who stood me up for my date but it felt good! Holy water (SPLASH)! Then we took a Steak.........and BBQd ya we're girls, did ya really think we could kill the bugger? His name wasn't Earl afterall.......sheesh!

Ah the fun times I had with my sister....... scopin men, going to dances, hunting demons/ghosts/vampires, driving across country with no real destination, standing on the street corners making sure daddy had money

But that has come to a sudden halt Someone found out "our secret". I have to give my brother his identity back....... I will no longer have a demon hunting partner, instead I'll have a brother who is totally pissed off at his family for making him believe he was a girl and that WASN'T a tampon permanently stuck there. I feel so ashamed and can understand iffen he/she no longer speaks to me. OR.......Boy George, I think I got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can work double shifts on 12th and Main for the next 3 months and pay for him to REALLY become my sister! Yes, that is IT!

Afterall, the next dude who approaches me on Halloween and asks "Are you REALLY a chick or just a dude in drag?" I can say....."Yes, I'm a real chick.......and then my sister/brother can say it too" Ah I am such a genius.

ah I know what you're thinking "Cougz, you already said you have a girly girl sister...why do you need 2? " 'Cause dang it people, have you not seen the curls on Fenderbender? No boy is gonna have hair like that without being called names. SHeesh, I'm doing it for him! And for dad.......... he didn't want a boy anyway, they don't make half as much money on 12th and Main. As for mom, well, I promise I won't ask for anything else........well except for a real brother. Can I have one now? pwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwease.

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Blogs by poeticcougar: I Cry Myself to Sleep at Night Ok, Ladies, I mean Sluts Why do you ask Where? Red Hats.......MY opinion A lil snowflake here and a snowflake there Pizza & a Beer? Coffee & a Donut? Will you report ME to the authorities? What do you do with a drunken cougar? Depression and Poetry Baja Rosa and Cranberry Vodka Cougz spills the beans........on herself My latest "sport" of choice The Tranny Sisters, a True Story The Robotic Arm blog sing to the tune of the mickey mouse club song The Most Beautiful Dimples I EVER Encountered the Angels Have Spoken Meet My Lesbian Match Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? Canadian Thanksgiving 2008...Cougz style Demolition of a Dream I'm a winner, baby, so why don't you hug me? I HATE bridges Coconuts and pork sausages Art Redux