In the previous blog, I tried to make a case for a way to live lovingly with a significant other. It IS possible, and if one is thoughtful and self-reflective, it is relatively simple. That we struggle with it is a reflection of our own feelings about ourselves and the ways we have been treated in the past. But I do honestly believe that we can and have to break free of that way of thinking.
(It was correctly pointed out that an additional element be described. We should always make an effort to compromise with the other, when it is necessary, with the understanding that it will be done without loss of integrity or feelings of submission to another).
Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning were lovers and poets without peer in the 19th century. Their poems to each other are wonderfully descriptive of the ways in which we can see each other as human beings, as lovers, friends, mates and companions. It is in the little things, always the little things, that love is most real and is felt most keenly.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning:
"How Do I Love Thee?"
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
And Robert Browning:
All the breath and bloom of the year in the bag of one bee;
All the wonder and wealth of the mine in the heart of one gem;
In the core of one pearl, all the shade and the shine of the sea.
Breath and bloom, shade and shine, wonder, wealth, and
How far above them,
Truth that's brighter than gem,
Trust that purer than pearl,
Brightest truth, purest trust in the universe
All were for me
In the kiss of one girl.
This is the way of love and trust and faith and hope and joy in the ones we choose.
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read more blogs!
Blogs by Orion313:
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| Relationship Manifesto: A Lover's Promise, Part 2 |
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invisible1
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Oct 29 @ 11:29AM
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it is relatively simple I'll bet you get some disagreement there!!
'If it's relatively simple why is it so difficult a thing that has to be worked at?'
Partners claim to give '100 % effort' . . . isn't effort another way of saying 'work'??
Maybe looking at little babies or young children would help. Babies love unconditionally (though they may not be aware of it at the time) because that is their experience in their short lives at the time. A baby smiles, an adult smiles back; a baby laughs, an adult laughs back; a baby cries, the adult doesn't cry--but soothes the baby.
Maybe it is relatively simple . . . smile, laugh, comfort your partner . . . it's all about focusing on the positive. 
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kywonder
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Oct 29 @ 11:31AM
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She is one of my favorite poets. Yes we could get along Orion, but most people do not want to take the time to make a relationship work. For some they are expecting the other partner to do it all. And people can not give 50/50. While it may add up to 100% together, it still means that both are not giving their all.
Glad to see you back.
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sybnann
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Oct 29 @ 6:09PM
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I agree with kywonder, but would also add that to me, a working relationship is at least giving 75/75. Love is going over and beyond what is expected. It is some sacrifice made from both sides. It is so enjoying the happiness that your efforts put on the face of your mate.
Lastly, it is wanting their happiness, no matter what the cost. To ME, that is love.
It is often painful but when it's not, it is one of the greatest gifts in life we can experience. It is always better to "love" than "be loved.  "
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summerbreeze916
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Oct 30 @ 1:24AM
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It is in the little things, always the little things, that love is most real and is felt most keenly.
Oh, yes! The 'little things' mean so much, whether it be a touch, a smile, or a warm embrace. Those 'gentle gestures' that define one's love, without so much as an utterance, shine more brightly than silver and gold.
Greet your love as if for the very first time with every new sunrise. Revel in the wondrous joy that each new day brings.
Learn from one another. Live for one another.
Mutually displaying these affections would fall nothing short of a 'divine contentment'.
 
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leprichaun_magic
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Oct 30 @ 12:11PM
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~~How do I love thee...~~ is a beautiful poem ..soft and yet undemanding .. it just flows ..
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butterfly943
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Nov 1 @ 12:19PM
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No one should give up half of themselves just to make someone whole...we should accept without change...but no one really does do they 
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