Stalking  Oh my goodness the things you can see. I mean, just yesterday I counted, yes on both hands AND feet, how many times my "intended" brushed his teeth! It was 6 scrubs, SPIT, 6 scrubs, SPIT, scrubs, SPIT. Than the mouthwash...garggle, garggle, GAG, garggle, SPIT! All this with the brown towel still wrapped around his waist from his morning shower  Then he applied his deoderant........ 4 swipes under the right underarm, than 4 swipes under the left underarm. Dabbed on some cologne...smack,smack,smack. ahhhhhhh I can still recall the smell then he disappeared from my view! 
I creeped through the bushes until I could see him again. Aw  the jeans were already on but it's SOCK TIME!  First the left foot, than the right. Then he hopped off the bed and headed towards his closet. "Hmm what shirt to wear today?"  I kept saying silently "The Browns! Go for the Browns!" Must be some psychic powers I have over this guy as he chose the shirt I so wanted to see him wear. Then he did it...........head first, right arm in the sleeve, than the left arm, pulled the shirt over his chest and he was done. Now what?
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH shit! It's the cops (again). I'm tired from running, takes al my energy. Afterall, we've gone through this twice already. "But.......but..........but" I stammered. "He doesn't mind, honestly. Afterall, he's been stalking my transexual brother, I mean my sister, for months!" Ok so they STILL don't believe me and out come the handcuffs. "Ooooooooooooooh officer, cuffing me again? Do I get a strip search this time?" Yeah they didn't find THAT funny either. Sheesh, does NOBODY have a sense of humour anymore?
So who to call when I get my ONE phone call? Perhaps the guy I've been stalking so he can tell HIS side of the story?  Fender so she can laugh her ass off  and say "Sheesh, Cougz, reverse psychology doesn't always work." Dad so he can say "Well at least it isn't a prostitution charge this time".  Mom so she can say "I told you, hon, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, not stalking him."  CartCart so she can bail me out, as usual? Maggiemae, so she can defend a fellow Canadian in the right spot at the wrong time? A scammer or two to see if they'll send ME bail money? So many options..........so little time to decide.
I think I just may have to rethink this latest phase of mine........but it has been fun. I mean really, when you can smell porkchops cooking and see the potatoes boiling, it just makes ya wanna bust in and say "Honey, I'm home." regardless if they want ya there or not!
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by poeticcougar:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| My latest "sport" of choice |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|