An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows,
when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'It's fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.'
Now the pressure was on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got.
And accidently shits the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' 
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.' 
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