Hello to all.  Happy Halloween.  Here's hoping your week was great, & that it flew by quickly.. & that the weekend will be full of fun & will drag it's heels. It was a gorgeous 70* here today, which is almost 20* above normal.  If all the Fall days could be like today, I doubt there would be many complaining Wisconsinites @ all.  Not much exciting going on really, but I thought I'd share some humor. 
Joe and John were identical twins.
Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself.
One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery.
A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, 'I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible.'
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, 'Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her.'
'She was a rotten old thing from the beginning.'
'Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish.'
'She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too.'
'Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.'
'I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time.'
'I warned them that she wasn't very good and that she smelled bad, but they wanted her anyway.'
'The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle.'
The old woman fainted.
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BROCCOLI CASSEROLE
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomf ort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.
The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!'
Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it.
She let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!!'
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Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the gro om-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'
'IMPOSSIBLE !!' said the groom broom.
'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'
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A bald man with a wooden leg is invited to a Halloween party. He
> doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so
> he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
>
> A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:
>
> Dear Sir,
> Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
> will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be
> just right as a pirate.
>
> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co.
>
>
> The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his
> wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by
> and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
>
> Dear Sir,
> Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your
> Wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
>
> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co.
>
>
> Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing
> his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the
> company another nasty letter of complaint. A few day's later he
> gets a small parcel and a note, which reads:
>
> Dear Sir,
> Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed
> nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts,
> stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple!!!
>
> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co
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*HUGS & FOOTRUBS* ladies..  *HANDSHAKES* guys.. 
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