Good Evening, Ladies! 
I'm Cary, and I'm your Plethora of Platypuses Profile of The Week! 
The Erudite (and UN-American) owner of this site has given ME the honor, of being your Male Profile of the Week, for our onsite Halloween celebrations!
Allow ME to tell you, about my Illuminous Self! 
First off, about MY PHOTO: Available to those ladies astute enough to be interested in me, I've kept it hidden from public view. After all, I wanted to impress you, so I went to YOUR favorite place in the mall: Glamour Shots took mine, and, well, you know, with SO MANY GAYS still stalking us Good Folks, I didn't want to tempt OR disappoint them! Do let me know, if you'd like to see it, and I'll be MORE THAN HAPPY to send you a copy, autographed with my computer-generated signature, of course. 
As for me, I'm one of the Elite Americans, who has had the honor of being chosen to work as a Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Shot in the line of duty, the bullet is still lodged in my brain; When doctors decided it was too risky to remove, I came home, to the Upper Carolinas, to manage my familys quaint little farm. Having devoted all my energies to upgrading the herd of beef there, I've made it what it is today. As head of what is now a sizable cattle ranch, the BIGGEST BALLS IN THE STATE are right here, making me rich and keeping me grinning and wealthy enough to pay for my two yachts, moored off the coast of Charleston. 
I've been divorced twice; The first abandoned me and my son, for her lesbian lover (but claims I'm STILL the best sex she EVER had). The second left me for a local attorney; I couldn't handle her breaking my heart, so my family had me committed to a psychiatric hospital, and took away my collection of firearms, so I wouldn't kill myself, when I returned home. 
Today, 5 years later, I have my weapons back; Of course, I want to make sure I never lose control again, so I take 3 drugs, to assist me: an anti-anxiety, an anti-depressant, and let's not forget THE ANTI-PSYCHOTIC. 
Still, of course, I hope my Ex comes to her senses and gets over her delusion, that led her away from me; To that end, I still keep her makeup and other toiletries in my Master bath. Seems to me that, the way women are flocking to my bed, if my Ex doesn't return, surely SOME GRATEFUL woman will like her things. 
These days, I make every effort to make sure a woman is WORTHY of all I have to offer her: After a brief discussion of geographical and economic needs, I ALWAYS make sure conversations end with PHONE SEX: If a woman can talk dirty to me, I know I have her loyalty; When she agrees to allow ME to introduce her to the wondrously sinful delights of Anal Sex, I KNOW I have her trust; What more could ANYONE WANT, in a relationship? 
If you're looking for a passionate, emotional man who only wants your Adoration, won't you write me and let me know? 
I'll be happy to take you to the local battered womens thrift store, to get you the gown you'll wear, when I take you to the Mental Health Charity Gala, and introduce you as the woman who SAVED ME FROM MYSELF. 
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by QtrAcreGalSeeking:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Horror of Horrors: A "Plethora of Platypuses" Parodied Singles Profile |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|