So last night my significant other held a "Brown Bag" party... You know, one of those parties were women get together, drink, and shop for their significant other's battery-operated replacement... Unfortunately, I was stuck in the computer room, seeing as I had a hockey game last night and didn't feel like sitting at the arena for 3 hours.
There was all the typical hooting and hollering, and a fair amount of giggling as the words "nipple nibblers" and other combinations of words I dare not repeat were repeated. (I believe I heard at one point "There isn't enough here to cover my whole nipple.... from someone over 50 years of age.... *shiver*) Regardless, it was obvious they were having a good time playing "Pin the hose on the fireman" and other games that would make you snicker.
My point in bringing this up is that you'll NEVER see 20 guys sitting around a table filled with sex devices laughing as they were told how they are used. Unless football or some other sport is on guys really shouldn't be congregating inside one another's houses anyways. But the point is.... Men apparently don't need sexual help, while you women need ALOT of it...
On a side note, I'm pretty sure she's trying to kill me. She got a "deal" on this apparatus that I'm not entirely sure I want to assemble. That's right, she bought a sex swing. And now she wants me to find a stud to mount it to. (A stud in the wall you pervs!) I've seen some of the positions they show on the box, and all I have to say is..... When that stud gives out and she falls on me and crushes my spleen, I'm suing.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
Blogs by Intellectual_Masochist:
|
|
|
|
|
| Parties I'm Not Invited To.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
JenRNinOhio
|
Nov 2 @ 12:30PM
|
|
I have heard ....
You can purchase a free standing support for the swing so you don't have to have to drill into the ceiling .... It's kind of like a very solid swing set frame kind of thing.
Or so I've heard.
|
|
DaisyMae420
|
Nov 2 @ 12:33PM
|
|
Usually we host and attend these parties because our guys don't always trip our triggers or they need help....we always manage to figure men out.... 
|
|
Blondino
|
Nov 2 @ 12:49PM
|
|
I laughed reading this 
good blog and good fun
<< no partener so does not attend these things 
|
|
Tiramisu4u
|
Nov 2 @ 1:29PM
|
|
These parties ARE fun! I went to my daughter's one...and ended up with the highest point and a crown!  *Don't ask*
My daughter just about DIED! 
And Blondino..I dont have a partner either...but there is a thing called a *HOPE CHEST*....   ...and be sure to keep it locked... 
|
|
poeticcougar
|
Nov 2 @ 1:46PM
|
|
my friend bought these shackles deals from a party like that and hung them over her bed. first guy she used it on freaked out so much he ripped them outta the wall AND broke her bed trying to get free. so ummmmmmmm where was the fun in that?  then she asked me if I wanted them ummmmmmm nope, I'd rather KEEP my partner around then scare them off.
|
|
UnicornLover1962
|
Nov 2 @ 2:32PM
|
|
two of my dearest friends got a swing for themselves. and they live in a mobile home.....i don't even ask any questions. somethings are TMI.....
|
|
QtrAcreGalSeeking
|
Nov 2 @ 4:45PM
|
|
Recently, a man came to pick me up at my house, for a date.
As I walked in my blue jeans, pearls and high heels to his truck, he took ONE LOOK at me and said,
Honey, I just bet you need me to buy you batteries, for all the sex toys you got in that thar house". 
Making a U-turn, AWAY from his chariot, I waved him off and hung my head in shame. When he asked if he'd offended me, I simply shook my head and said,
No, but IF YOU THINK I NEED ANYTHING with batteries in the Sex Dept, YOU SIMPLY AREN'T CREATIVE ENOUGH, for me".  
Sometimes, you JUST GOTTA DO what YOU GOTTA DO, ya know?
|
|
babydoll1970
|
Dec 5 @ 12:13AM
|
|
|
Hhhmmm I am surprised that the distributor actually left you in the house during the party.. When I did that (yep I actually made good money at it too), guys were not allowed in the house where the party was being held.. There were several reasons for that, but the company I worked for had a pretty strict policy against it.. Anyhow, don't knock any of the devices til you try them.. And don't be afraid to co-pilot any battery operated devices for her.. It will show her that you are willing to please her anyway you have to.. Good luck with the swing..
|
|
|