etiquette in public male toilets posted 11/11/2008 3:12:48 AM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: male, etiquette, rules

miscotheque

It had always been an underlying assumption that the gentlemen of today understand the etiquette of toiletry. It's an implied knowledge which I thought I'd attempt to put into words because I am totally procrastinating at the moment.

Unlike ladies/unisex/disabled people, who have the luxury of isolated cubicles, men's toilets succumbed to spacial efficiency, which means, they have a row for 'number 1s', i.e., peeing.
This means there is no privacy when you're standing on the 'platform', aiming your urine towards a glued poster of president Bush.

There are 2 reasons a person would pee there instead of the cubicles.
1. convenience
2. there are no cubicles available.

Now onto the crux of this issue. What do you do when you're forced to pee alongside other men (supposing you're a guy)?

Rule 1:
Corners 1st. This means always try to claim the left-most or right-most spot if possible.

Rule 2:
stay as far away from others as possible. So if there is one guy standing on the far left like so:
x---------------- (x being that guy)
Then it is recommended that you go far right:
x---------------O <= you

if there are 2 people:
x---------------x
yes you've guessed it:
x------O------x

NB: these figures are NOT drawn to scale. I just realised that the 'O' may have seemed overly obese, when compared to the 'x's.

Rule 3:
NEVER look directly at another person while you're in the middle of your business transaction. Think of it as going to a catholic confession box, without the exchange of dialogue. Speaking of dialogue (no pun intended on speaking), it leads to rule number 4.

Rule 4:
Minimal communication. A head nod would suffice in most cases though. Note I did not say "NO COMMUNICATION" because lets face it, you'll probably want a gentle reminder from your friendly neighbour in the event that the ciggie you failed to put out has somehow managed to set your jacket alight. Or that there is a large and unwieldy piece of food (or hairgel) hanging awkwardly from your hair which could potentially cockblock your chances with your date who is waiting outside.

That's all I have for now. I am sure I would have missed a couple there. Feel free to correct me or add to the list!

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