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A blog I read earlier brought back memories from years ago…
Memories from lovers long lost…
Those terrible relationships….. wild and toxic, yet…. with that irresistible cherry on top.
I remember how I fell in love with them, how I continued loving them, even though I knew after a while how terrible they were to me.
Awwwwww…. but I could not get away from these men (there have been two in my life…)
It was fighting the odds…. And the odds won… of course.
It took many years to get over them, many years of pain and self-doubt, of loneliness and longing.
My mind learned, my heart yearned…. and kept yearning for a long, long time.
Even now, there is that small corner of my heart that is still crying, and that is still wondering…. “what if…”.
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read more blogs!
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butterfly943
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Nov 14 @ 1:35PM
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Well it must be the time of the year for remembering..I blogged on this too as well as read a few blogs about it..what does make us want what isnt good for us  its like eating sweets when we know how bad it is for us...and I believe a part of them always stays in us...be it our hearts, mind or soul 
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CPUfan
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Nov 14 @ 1:44PM
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What if they hadn't been terrible to you? Fook that...
Hand me that cherry lol...
Yes it's the time of year... I dreamt I got a letter from my ex this morning. It said she wasn't still married to the Morrocan Mullah and had moved in with a Marxist...
It didn't say anything about repaying the $30,000 though so that made me real sad 
May all ex-ones stew in a pot of their own making...  
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1frantastic
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Nov 14 @ 1:48PM
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oh that elusive what if......add to it "If only..." the latter was heard as a negative by me for years....and I still do the "What if..." for many reasons....but like others have said...."What if?" belongs to our lost loves and recalling the happy moments....even if they never were there! 
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travelwoman
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Nov 14 @ 1:51PM
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May all ex-ones stew in a pot of their own making
Oh, but they do, ... they do.... 
And the cherry was delicious, wasn't it?  
That's why we went back for more....
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suthrn_belle
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Nov 14 @ 3:33PM
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All my ex's live in Texas...
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TroutFishing
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Nov 14 @ 4:26PM
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Where can we non-abusive guys find that kind of loyalty?
The saddest part of life is the intensity of loyalty to abusers.
I will never understand that.
 
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travelwoman
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Nov 14 @ 5:10PM
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It has to do with control, and loss.... I suppose...
When we first met the person, s/he was not abusive. That came later.
So when the abuse starts, there is a lot of control in the game, too. Control from the abusive person.
As to the abused person, s/he wishes to find again that "nice, loving, caring" person s/he met first. It takes a while to sink in that that nice person was never real, but only a facade.....
I think for people who have never been in that type of relationship, it is just beyond their imagination.... You never see the cherry from the outside, only the bad stuff....
As for the real non-abusive nice guys.... where the heck were you, then?
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equuisdancer
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Nov 14 @ 5:15PM
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would have, could have, should have and why didn't I....all questions we've asked ourselves at a point in time...but always to late......lessons learned..
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