Over the years I’ve been accused of being smart. Let me first dispel any notion that it’s true. However, I own that I am wiley. Discovering that there are lessons in everyday things around me has served me well. In celebration of the holidays and just because I think its time to give them the credit they are due, IMHO, I feel that you should know about the wisdom of ducks. This is important information. Use it wisely.
Summers in the 60’s were spent in Louisiana on my grandmother’s farm. 240 acres of food; gardens, fields, orchards and livestock. There was a hierarchy in those days of being “adult enough” to work. Back when it was exciting to be considered an adult, mind you. Who else would get so worked up over being able to work but a child wishing they could eat at the adult table? Also, being summer in Louisiana, it was sweltering hot. The assembly of cousins would play outside in our underpants, which served many purposes. A – you didn’t get as hot. B – your clothes didn’t get dirty, just your undies. C – it was wwaaaayyyyyyy easier to pee behind the barn if you didn’t have those darned overall suspenders trailing in the dusty whiz, and it really helped not to topple over in it when you didn’t have to aim over your pantlegs. Trust me.
One such barely clad summer day my grandmother hollered from the back porch “you kids round up them ducks and get em back in that pen over yonder before the dogs come back up from the pasture!!”. The DUCKS!! We get to do something with the poultry! “Woo hoooooo~! We can be trusted!” Smelling our shot at grown-uphood, 5 children under the age of 8 excitely went tearing across the yard to where the ducks were eating whatever ducks eat. Now, running at the ducks wasn’t the smartest thing that we could have done. Squealing wasn’t either. Said ducks became highly agitated and did not take the procedure well. I managed to scoop up the closest duck to me before it was able to outrun me….yep, scooped that little dickens up against my bare skin. It was then I discovered something about ducks. Toenails. My need to be a big girl and the resultant pride was at stake so I fiercely held that freakin’ duck to my body as I ran to the pen and tossed it over the side, but not before it filed a last parting shot and pooped in my general direction. Staring in disbelief at the 14 long bleeding rowells running down my chest and poop on my foot, I was forced to undergo the “monkey blood” treatment. Talk about adding insult to injury.
The lessons:
1 - Always dress appropriately for the job. Naked only works if you are a stripper. And even then, they have to be clothed to get to and from work.
2 – If something you are holding on to is damaging you, for crying out loud LET IT GO. Quickly and without ego. Its easier to be cool and have a good time and enjoy life with just a little embarrassment, rather than with stitches and merthiolate all over your stomach. Adults don’t always have it so good, turns out.
3 – Don’t assume doing something nice will get you kudos. Just because you are protecting the ducks by getting them out of harms way, no law states that said ducks will be grateful. Sometimes you get pooped at even when you’re doing a nice thing. Deal with it.
Class dismissed. Next lesson tomorrow.
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| Wisdom From a Duck – lesson 1 |
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