Freedom of choice..."Heffers in the Mist" posted 11/21/2008 12:25:04 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse

PentatonicPunk

I've often wondered...if given the choice, would cows rather live a life of servitude with the knowledge that one day they'll be butchered and eaten by humans...or would they prefer to take their chances in the wild? I decided to conduct an experiment.

I took the meanest livestock I could find to let loose into the wild. Talk about tough meat!...these cows wore leather jackets and were so MAD, they had to attend court appointed anger management counseling and would brand themselves with sayings like "Bite Me".

Day 1. The experiment began as the cows reluctantly familiarized themselves with the remote wilderness. The first order of business would be to find food and since there was no hay or grass, they mostly chomped on acorns, pine cones, ferns and wild mushrooms. The indigenous species looked on with mild curiosity at the newcomers as they sauntered about and sampled the local plant life.

Day 2. Some of the cows started showing signs of illness and appeared to be off in their own little world. They were seemingly moving to an imaginary rhythm and had traded in the traditional "mooooo" for something that sounded like "Duuuude". Maybe it was the mushrooms. The woodland critters were now gathering to inspect the lumbering intruders with some interest. A chipmunk was gnawing on one of the cow's hooves.

Day 3. The experiment has gone horribly wrong. During the night, a pack of wild hares had reduced one of the cows to little more than leather clad skeletal remains. Squirrels had built a nest in the belly of one unfortunate bovine while snarling chipmunks were half-way through the leg of another. A lone coyote stood at the woodline and looked on at the carnage with angst.

Day 4. A few deer had tossed aside their timid nature and were now gorging themselves in what appeared to be a feeding frenzy as they fought for position at the bloody and tattered remains. ...

I think I'll go get a burger...

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Blogs by PentatonicPunk: I can't live with myself anymore...and I owe an apology Stuffing the ballot box, cheating on taxes, and taking more than your fair share Just in case you missed it... The Boots of Navarone You want the good news, or the bad news? Freedom of choice..."Heffers in the Mist" I can't deny my love for you... A little experiment... Congratulations Massholes! When it's Right to be Wrong....random thoughts