We live happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
"Aw hell, it doesn't matter. We'll both be millionaires by the time we're forty". That was what Timmy and I would say to each other whenever we we're doing something irresponsible. We said that to each other a lot. We were thick as thieves and absolute hellions. We were both high-school freshmen when my family moved to Timmy's neighborhood. He and I would walk nearly two miles everyday to school. We could've taken the bus like the other kids, but then, you couldn't smoke on the bus. And we weren't like the other kids.
Timmy was everything I liked about myself and then some. He had more spirit than anyone I've ever known, and he was, to this day, the only person I ever knew who was never afraid. I'll never know what he saw in me, but even in those times when I felt I could be as great as I thought I could be, I knew I could never be as great as he thought I could be. He was the best friend that I ever had. He's the only best friend I've ever had. I can see now that we were kindred spirits, but back then we simply referred to ourselves as "two studs against the world".
Though we grew up and life took us separate ways, we still remained close. I had already married and started a family when Timmy came home from military service. By this time the entire adult world knew me as "Roger", but I would always be "Rooster" to Timmy. Though we had separate lives we still managed to get in some golf or fishing together on the weekends.
He soon got a high paying job, bought a hot new car and I began to see less and less of him. This was understandable as I was a family man and he a bachelor on the prowl. He quipped once on the phone that his health care job gave him unlimited access to doctors and the drugs they would readily prescribe. I could tell he had changed. He stopped coming around.
"Why did he shoot himself in the heart" my dad pondered. "He didn't want to mess up his face for the funeral" I replied. That's how well I knew him. More than anyone, I knew him and loved him.
It was difficult to see his name posted outside the room in the funeral home. But once inside, I felt a warm calm. It was the second time I'd ever seen him wear a suit. The first was almost exactly a year before when I lost my son. I lost the son and the spirit on consecutive Februaries. The following February my dad was diagnosed with cancer on Ash Wednesday and died a few weeks later on Good Friday.
I think of the father and the son daily. And I think of the spirit quite often. I think of him most on my birthday. I'm still a tad over a million dollars short of becoming the millionaire we both envisioned, and I haven't become as great as even I thought I would be. I'm here, however, and I have to believe he'd be proud that I'm still trying.
My apologies for punching out such a downer. This was on my mind.
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
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Peabianjay
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Nov 21 @ 3:15PM
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*hugs* Condolences.
No need to appologize, Psycho.
Be well,
PBJ
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leprichaun_magic
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Nov 21 @ 3:20PM
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That,s..such a moving story Psycho..
and everyones talent goes in different directions ..?.not good .. not bad , just Indivduals ,There is room for everyone :)
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sphynxsmile
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Nov 21 @ 3:50PM
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Thanks for sharing. This was real and touched my heart, as it reminded me of the spirits I lost. I was so damn lucky to have many a best friend in my life, but they are ALL, without exception, gone! Paradise would be to see them again.
Thanks for not turning out noisy, emptiness
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lacyvsq
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Nov 21 @ 4:00PM
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Happy Birthday PM! I am sure father, son and spirit are all proud of you -- not so much for trying as for being.... I am proud of you too.
Find you a good printer and create that million like the 1%ers do... 
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funisnumber1
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Nov 21 @ 4:03PM
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My heros are all those who continue to be thoughtful and generous in spite of their very broken hearts. Or maybe because of them. kudos to you.
Thank you for sharing your Trinity.((((hug))))
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ColdinWisconsin
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Nov 21 @ 4:11PM
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Perhaps your best.....~*~
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Tunes4u
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Nov 21 @ 5:55PM
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Beautiful.....
You are rich already. Far beyond all those early dreams.....You need not worry.
You did it.
~*~
Sincerely,
Tunes
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summerbreeze916
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Nov 21 @ 7:39PM
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Hugs and kisses to you, Roger. This was a wonderful blog. They would be and are proud of you! You and Timmy were quite the dudes.........    
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jentoblues101
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Nov 21 @ 7:44PM
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Bravo, Roger.
~*~
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redtigr
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Nov 21 @ 8:26PM
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No matter how much we love someone, or how well we think we know them, we can never see through their eyes.
[I]
"There’s a certain slant of light,
On winter afternoons,
That oppresses, like the weight
Of cathedral tunes.
Heavenly hurt it gives us;
We can find no scar,
But internal difference
Where the meanings are.
None may teach it anything,
’T is the seal, despair,—
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the air.
When it comes, the landscape listens,
Shadows hold their breath;
When it goes, ’t is like the distance
On the look of death."
- Emily Dickenson/I]
~*~
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oceanlover734
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Nov 21 @ 9:06PM
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This one I must say surprised me as it made me cry. Thank you for sharing because it brings out emotions in us. ~*~
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fenderchick
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Nov 21 @ 10:03PM
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I'm glad you shared it...It is so hard when you lose a friend like that...Either through death or just growing apart...
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Borty
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Nov 21 @ 10:23PM
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I remember those kindred spirits...nothing needed to be said...we just knew...something like ESP but much more effective...got some of those in my life right now and some have passed but certainly not forgotten. 
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misschief
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Nov 22 @ 6:19AM
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~*~
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unionman154
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Nov 22 @ 7:57AM
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A million dollars no. A million fans yes.  Very touching Roger. ~*~
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silksox
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Nov 22 @ 11:59PM
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Silk
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callmemax
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Nov 23 @ 12:14AM
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you had a great friend. think you still have him occassionally, in spirit.
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